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Well, I'm going to answer my own question just to get it out there for anyone else looking in the future.
You can find the location of the relay in the wiring diagram. It's behind the drivers-side lower trim panel in the cargo area, essentially just behind the gas filler cover.
Before you go tearing into that, however, let me say that all of the electrical problems I've had in the tailgate of my wagon have been because of broken wires in the harness that goes from the car body to the tailgate. The problem I was having with the rear wipers turned out to be no different. When I opened up the harness there were at least 6 wires that were broken or on their way to breaking. I fixed those up and things are ok for now.
I'd be interested in knowing a long term fix for those wires if there is one. That looks like a weak design to me.
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I'd be more inclined to think outside the box if there was any evidence there was thinking on the inside.
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