Figure I'll update this.
Tore apart and put back together this past weekend. (I made damn well sure I was finished before sunday

) Running on 100% now.
The crank pulley was a pita to take off. Just barely enough room for the puller and I had to go buy two M6 bolts about 3 inches long to reach the threaded holes. Then once I got it off I couldn't get it to go back on. But I noticed some crud on the crank snout, and inside the bore in the sprocket. Cleaned that up with 1500 grit sand paper then slathered on a little grease, gave a little wiggle and it slid right into place.
Had no trouble getting the timing sprocket off after cleaning the crud off the crank.
Anybody wanting to change the cam seal on this engine should buy one of these:
Literally took 5 seconds to pop the cam seal out. Took a bit to get it oriented to get the crank seal out but it worked just as well for that. A little push and it popped right out. Took longer to get the oil pump shaft seal out with a screwdriver on the bench than that tool did in the car.
The rest was pretty easy. Made a few marks on the cam and crank sprockets before taking the old belt off. The cam marks weren't anywhere near the same when I got the new belt on. And to be honest I'm not entirely sure if I got it right. It seemed like it was a tooth off from looking at the marks, but it seems to run fine so... who knows.

I didn't feel like messing with it anymore.
Along the way it also got two exhaust gaskets, oil pan sealed up, valve cover gasket and grommets replaced, fuel filter, air filter, spark plugs, wires, and new drive belts.
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Well holy shit, that's exactly what my camry sounded like before it's belt broke. I had a couple of mechanics listen to it and be baffled about where the noise was coming from. Go figure.
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I posted the video so if anyone goes searching for information about a weird rattling noise they just might happen across it and find the answer before getting left on the side of the road.