you should replace those control arms, easiest to get new OEM ones, or whatever you prefer. yours look bad...
as per mounts. I haven't read too many complains on Monroe mounts and in fact those in front quick struts on both cars we own are very nice and quiet. I really like monroe quick struts
new Toyota mounts should be good (revised design), but original ones were crappy too... lots of gen4 camry TSB on front mounts on many models, especially the passenger side (camry and solara around year 2000).
KYB mounts get extremely terrible reviews, maybe only Mevotech is worse
as per other parts you mentioned.
ball joints are not supposed to move freely. the studs in them should feel stiff and hard to move.
my old (cracked boots) ball joints were totally loose on V6 on both sides to the point where the gravity force was able to move the stud around (after removing both of the steering knuckles off car).
new Moog ball joints (installed and loaded with grease at local shop) were stiff, which is good here.
outer tie rod ends will spill grease (by stud) if you push/pull the stud to very side, that's normal too. if their boots are not cracked, I would leave them alone.