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"Touchless" Car Wash..... MY ASS!!!!!
Well, in a tridaily (every 3 days) occurrence, I took my car to the BP Gas Station to use their "Laser Touchless Car Washing System." Have been doing this every 3 days for the past 4 months.... no problems.... until now. After a long drive on the highway, a decent collection of bug and miscellaneous "other" matter was plastered all over the front of the car. So, naturally, I chose the Silver pkg, which for summertime, had "Bug Splat Remover". So I was like, cool. And I paid my 7 bucks, got into the machine... and the whole thing cycles, and then the "bug splat remover" turns on... it's this uber-high pressure wash only on the front of the car. That's when I heard the pop.... didn't know from where.... but I heard a pop on my precious Camilla. Then I get to the part of the "110 mph air drying system". BIG pop. again, didn't know from where. So I get to the end of this pinche device, and start towel drying the remainder of the car.
This is when I nearly broke down and cried.
There is now a 19.5" CRACK in my windshield.
I already filed the paperwork for THEIR insurance to cover it, and now I hafta go out and get estimates. I'm going to the dealers. THey are paying every red cent and then some for deflowering my baby, Camilla. They must rot in hell for thousands and thousands of eons, before I am even slightly moved towards forgiving.
And btw, to curb anyone out there trying to tell me to wash it myself... it's impossible to wash your car when you live in downtown Chicago. It has to either be machine washed, or sent to a detailers. Maybe I'll move to suburbia so I can buy a house, have my reasonably small 17 car garage, my 2.3 kids, my beautiful girlfriend with a wife and a mistress on the side, a big yard, a couple dogs, and barbecues every weekend with the neighbors. Nahhh... I'll stick to the City.
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: but i love your multi-lingual post 
uber-high and pinche device (i used to work at a mexican restaurant i learned lots of slang 
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