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GySgt Ermey's PRESS CONFERENCE

For the few of you who missed him, R. Lee Ermey is the host of The
History Channel's "Mail Call" and played the Drill Instructor in the
movie, "Full Metal Jacket." He is a retired Marine Gunnery Sergeant
and a very plain speaker, as you will soon read.

So, for your entertainment, here is Retired Marine Gunnery Sergeant R.
Lee Ermey at his first press conference. The main topic of discussion
is the Marine in Iraq who shot the Iraq insurgent to death. We pick up
as the reporter asks about how this potential war crime will affect
our image in the world:


Ermey: "What kind of a pansy-assed question is that?"

Reporter 1: "Well I think."

Ermey: "THINK, Fancy boy?! Get this through that septic tank on top of
your shoulders, moron: I DON'T GIVE A DAMN WHAT YOU THINK, DO YOU
UNDERSTAND ME??? That Marine shot an ENEMY COMBATANT, SHITHEAD; SO GET
YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR ASS AND DEAL WITH IT BEFORE I MAKE YOU MY OWN
PERSONAL PIN CUSHION!!!


Next question: You in the blue suit."

Reporter 2: Don't you think that the world's opinion of our operations
is important?

Ermey: "Oh sure! You don't know the times I have cried myself to sleep
worrying about what some goddamned French pansy thinks! Oh the days I
have had to weep because some shit eating terrorist fucker might be
mad at us, because we went into whatever god forsaken hole in the shit
that he lives in and killed him. WHAT THE HELL KIND OF DUMBASS
QUESTION IS THAT YOU PETER-PUFFING JACKASS?? WE ARE THE UNITED STATES
OF AMERICA, AND WHEN YOU ATTACK US, WE ARE GOING TO COME TO YOUR HOUSE
AND BLOW YOUR STINKING CAMEL-LICKING CARCASS INTO PIECES SO SMALL WE
WILL BE ABLE TO BURY YOUR SORRY ASS IN A THIMBLE!!


YEAH, I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE THINKING. YOU ARE PROBABLY AFRAID, THINKING
THAT I HAVE SUCH AN "EXTREME" ATTITUDE AND THAT I NEED TO BE MORE
SENSITIVE" TO OTHER PEOPLE'S FEELINGS. WELL LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING
YOU POLE-SMOKING PANSY! I DON'T GIVE TWO SHITS WHAT YOU OR ANYBODY
ELSE THINKS! THIS IS A DAMN WAR, AND IF YOU CAN'T HANDLE THAT, THEN
YOU SHOULD GO HOME AND SUCK ON

MAMMA'S TIT!! DO YOU HEAR ME YOU RUNT?? NOW GET THE HELL OUT OF MY
PRESS ROOM BEFORE I GO CRAZY AND BEAT THE LIVING SHIT OUT OF YOU!!!


Next question: YOU WITH THE UGLY-ASSED TIE. LOOK AT THAT THING! IT IS
HIDEOUS."

Reporter: 3: "Aren't you going against the freedom of the press by..."
Ermey: "FREEDOM?? WHAT IN BLUE HELL DO YOU KNOW ABOUT FREEDOM? I HAVE
SWEATED MY ASS OFF IN JUNGLES, WHILE BEING SHOT AT FOR THIS NATION!!
WHAT IN THE HELL HAVE YOU DONE YOU LITTLE SHIT-SUCKING WEASEL? WHEN
WAS THE LAST TIME YOU PUT YOUR ASS ON THE LINE FOR ANYTHING? AND YET
YOU HAVE THE UNMITIGATED TEMERITY TO SHOW UP HERE AND MONDAY-MORNING
QUARTERBACK THE ACTIONS OF A BRAVE MARINE, WHO WAS DEFENDING HIMSELF
AND HIS UNIT FROM AN ATTACK BY SOME MURDEROUS AL-QUEDA SYMPATHIZER!!!
YOU WANNA KNOW WHAT I AM CONCERNED ABOUT, NUMBNUTS? I AM CONCERNED
ABOUT A BUNCH OF GRABASSTIC, ORGANIZED MORONS WITH CAMERAS AND
MICROPHONES DOING THEIR BEST TO PORTRAY

OUR BRAVE MEN AND WOMEN AS WAR CRIMINALS! I AM CONCERNED ABOUT
CHICKEN-SHIT PANSIES THAT WANT US TO NEGOTIATE WITH TERRORISTS AND
WHINE ABOUT THEIR PISS-ANT "FREEDOMS"!!"


Reporter: 3: "I..."

Ermey: "DID YOU HAVE A BIG BOWL OF STUPID FOR BREAKFAST THIS MORNING,
NUMBNUTS? I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ANOTHER WORD OUT OF THAT COMMIE
CRY-HOLE IN THAT SHIT-PILE YOU CALL A HEAD! AND THAT GOES TRIPLE FOR
THE REST OF YOU PANSY-ASSED MORONS! NOW GET THE HELL OUT OF MY PRESS
ROOM BEFORE I SHOVE MY BOOT SO FAR UP YOUR ASS THAT YOU CHOKE TO DEATH
ON MY SHOELACES!!!!"


All I can say is AMEN Gunny!!!!!

--

Scott in Florida