I have a Blackberry tour and an 08 Tundra w/ Nav. When I first tried to pair, I got exactly what you are talking about. I did a battery pull on the tour and it connected fine. I am not sure if I had the Tundra find the phone or the phone find the truck but you can try it both ways. You may also want to check out the forums on
www.crackberry.com to see if there is any solution there.
After you get the thing connected correctly, your callers will hardly be able to hear you. At times you will sound fine and other times you will sound like you are yelling across a football field. It has something to do with the tour b/c my pearl worked fine and my wifes phone works great too. The is a work around until blackberry can make a decent phone. You need to turn up the outgoing volume in the truck. Here is how to do it.
NEW TSB - How to Adjust Bluetooth Mic Volume or
the latter shows how to access your service menu. Then one of the selections is Tel voice.