Experts? If they were experts, we wouldn't be buried with recalls and TSBs.
Allaboutoil isn't all that great of a reference and pretty much misinformation as oils can be blended without VII's or VM's to meet many different weights. And, their 'summary' is wrong.
I have the tow package but I don't tow. So, why haven't the experts at Toyota addressed this? What if you tow without the tow package? They're experts with no common sense as they left out too many scenarios.
You can use just about ANY GF-4 or newer oil. Use a little common sense with weight. Don't use a 40 or 50 if you live at the north pole. And, I definitely wouldn't use a 20 weight pulling a 2-ton trailer in a desert.
I've used 0w20, 0w30, 5w20, 5w30, 10w30, 0w40... in my Highlander and various other vehicles with so-called 'carved in concrete' oil recommendations, and barely noticed any MPG differences(why oil went thin to begin with). The engine is also a little quieter with thicker oil.
If you're towing or live in a overly hot climate, I'd stick with the 0w40 or 5w40 as the average oil temperature is hotter. Since my vehicle is parked outdoors, I prefer the 0w20 or 0w30 for winter cold starts and 0w40 or 10w30 during the summer.
And, if you truly worry about your oil weight or brand, simply send out a used oil sample for analysis.
Tohi2009, what I would do is find out what brand/bulk oil they're using and its spec. If its garbage oil, whether its a 20 or 30 weight is meaningless. Its time that you find an independent to do your oil changes. Stick with name brand oil with the lastest API/SAE/ILSAC specs. ILSAC GF-5 is around the corner with most quality oils already meeting the GF-4 specs for a while. I've seen plenty of bulk/barrel oil at dealers with only an obsolete GF-3 rating(especially the 5w30 bulk). I would rather use a GF-4 5w20 over a GF-3 5w30 regardless of the owners manual's recommendation.
When in doubt, use a full synthetic which most dealers offer.
The new GF5 oils are already available and should be trickling into your local department and auto part stores over the next year.
http://www.gf-5.com/the_story/performance/