There are two lines coming out of the AC compressor. The low line (insulated and wrapped in zip ties), seen in this pic:
http://i129.photobucket.com/albums/p...ibe/acmod1.jpg should be cold to the touch and maybe sweating when the AC is running. The other line, the high line should be hot to the touch.
If the low side line is not cool/cold, you probably have a bad compressor or undercharged system. If the low side line is VERY cold, or even frozen near the firewall, you have a restriction (dirt) problem in the evaporator coil may be VERY dirty.
The AC magnetic clutch relay is located in the fuse box under the hood: pull the lid to the box and read the panel that describes the location of the fuses/relays. I believe it is the bottom left relay if you are standing in front of the car, but don't quote me. If you want to check the AC relay, pull the horn relay and put it in the AC relay spot and see if you get cold air. My bet that your problem is the relay, and I don't bet much. If the relay is bad, it maybe slightly discolored, I would check the relay before I would look at anything else. They seem to be a problem on our cars. Autozone sells the relays, tell them you want a horn relay, much cheaper than the AC relay sold at the dealer.
Did you check the condenser for holes? That is the black radiator looking thing in front of the radiator that absorbs all of the rocks and debris.
The DIY AC recharge kits can be dangerous if not used correctly and I would shy away from doing it yourself. But if you want to try it, the pressure should be 25-40 on the low side and 200-250 on the high side but depends on the outside temp, usually high side reads about 2.5% times the ambient temp and test the pressure at about 1500 RPM.