Matt,
If you don't way to pay dealer prices how about checking local/state recyclers. Many are organized to the point you can make a part request at one and if they don't have it they'll put out a call to others to see if they have one. Worst case you find the wrong color and have it repainted. Somewhere in a junkyard sits your mirror right this moment.
The alternative is, of course, dealers but you have options there too. Start with your local Toyota dealer then check some that have a high profile online like Sparks Toyota
http://www.trdsparks.com/ . That link is to their TRD site but my experience has been very good service and excellent pricing (I haven't ordered any oem parts though).
Good luck and....don't give the bride a hard time. You never know when 'you' are going to mess up and trust me, she'll never let you forget it.
Cheers