[OT] divorce -->joke<--

A married couple is driving down the interstate doing 55 mph. The
husband is behind the wheel. His wife looks over at him and says,
"Honey, I know we've been married for 15 years, but, I want a divorce."

The husband says nothing but slowly increases speed to 60 mph. She then
says, "I don't want you to try to talk me out of it, because I've been
having an affair with your best friend, and he's a much better lover
than you."

Again the husband stays quiet and just speeds up as his anger
increases. She says, "I want the house." Again the husband speeds up,
and now is doing 70 mph.

She says, "I want the kids, too." The husband just keeps driving
faster, and faster, now he's up to 80 mph.

She says, "I want the car, the checking account, and all the credit
cards, too." The husband slowly starts to veer toward a bridge overpass
piling, as she says, "Is there anything you want?"

The husband says, "No, I've got everything I need."

She asks, "Like what?"

The husband replies just before they hit the wall at 90 mph, "An
airbag."

In article <xn0e84j6pwoup7m000@news.readfreenews.net>,
"badgolferman" <REMOVETHISbadgolferman@gmail.com> wrote:
[color=blue]
> A married couple is driving down the interstate doing 55 mph. The
> husband is behind the wheel. His wife looks over at him and says,
> "Honey, I know we've been married for 15 years, but, I want a divorce."
>
> The husband says nothing but slowly increases speed to 60 mph. She then
> says, "I don't want you to try to talk me out of it, because I've been
> having an affair with your best friend, and he's a much better lover
> than you."
>
> Again the husband stays quiet and just speeds up as his anger
> increases. She says, "I want the house." Again the husband speeds up,
> and now is doing 70 mph.
>
> She says, "I want the kids, too." The husband just keeps driving
> faster, and faster, now he's up to 80 mph.
>
> She says, "I want the car, the checking account, and all the credit
> cards, too." The husband slowly starts to veer toward a bridge overpass
> piling, as she says, "Is there anything you want?"
>
> The husband says, "No, I've got everything I need."
>
> She asks, "Like what?"
>
> The husband replies just before they hit the wall at 90 mph, "An
> airbag."[/color]

Where do you get these things from. It's another pass-along. LOL!!
--

"Dbu'', 10/5/2005, 7:29:45 AM,
<nttspam-D0F400.06294305102005@news-rdr-03.rdc-kc.rr.com> wrote:
[color=blue]
> In article <xn0e84j6pwoup7m000@news.readfreenews.net>,
> "badgolferman" <REMOVETHISbadgolferman@gmail.com> wrote:
>[color=green]
> > A married couple is driving down the interstate doing 55 mph. The
> > husband is behind the wheel. His wife looks over at him and says,
> > "Honey, I know we've been married for 15 years, but, I want a
> > divorce."
> >
> > The husband says nothing but slowly increases speed to 60 mph. She
> > then says, "I don't want you to try to talk me out of it, because
> > I've been having an affair with your best friend, and he's a much
> > better lover than you."
> >
> > Again the husband stays quiet and just speeds up as his anger
> > increases. She says, "I want the house." Again the husband speeds
> > up, and now is doing 70 mph.
> >
> > She says, "I want the kids, too." The husband just keeps driving
> > faster, and faster, now he's up to 80 mph.
> >
> > She says, "I want the car, the checking account, and all the credit
> > cards, too." The husband slowly starts to veer toward a bridge
> > overpass piling, as she says, "Is there anything you want?"
> >
> > The husband says, "No, I've got everything I need."
> >
> > She asks, "Like what?"
> >
> > The husband replies just before they hit the wall at 90 mph, "An
> > airbag."[/color]
>
> Where do you get these things from. It's another pass-along. LOL!![/color]

I write them...(not) Stay tuned for more.

--
"Golf and sex are the only things you can enjoy without being good at
them." -- Jimmy DeMaret

"badgolferman" <REMOVETHISbadgolferman@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:xn0e84j6pwoup7m000@news.readfreenews.net...[color=blue]
>A married couple is driving down the interstate doing 55 mph. The
> husband is behind the wheel. His wife looks over at him and says,
> "Honey, I know we've been married for 15 years, but, I want a divorce."
>
> The husband says nothing but slowly increases speed to 60 mph. She then
> says, "I don't want you to try to talk me out of it, because I've been
> having an affair with your best friend, and he's a much better lover
> than you."
>
> Again the husband stays quiet and just speeds up as his anger
> increases. She says, "I want the house." Again the husband speeds up,
> and now is doing 70 mph.
>
> She says, "I want the kids, too." The husband just keeps driving
> faster, and faster, now he's up to 80 mph.
>
> She says, "I want the car, the checking account, and all the credit
> cards, too." The husband slowly starts to veer toward a bridge overpass
> piling, as she says, "Is there anything you want?"
>
> The husband says, "No, I've got everything I need."
>
> She asks, "Like what?"
>
> The husband replies just before they hit the wall at 90 mph, "An
> airbag."[/color]

Evil. Pure evil (I saw it coming, actually - but I thought he was doing a
murder-suicide thing)

:-)

Natalie

"Wickeddoll®" <wickeddoll1958DIEspammersDIE@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:di06mk.3bo.1@news.evilcabal.org...[color=blue]
>
> "badgolferman" <REMOVETHISbadgolferman@gmail.com> wrote in message
> news:xn0e84j6pwoup7m000@news.readfreenews.net...[color=green]
>>A married couple is driving down the interstate doing 55 mph. The
>> husband is behind the wheel. His wife looks over at him and says,
>> "Honey, I know we've been married for 15 years, but, I want a divorce."
>>
>> The husband says nothing but slowly increases speed to 60 mph. She then
>> says, "I don't want you to try to talk me out of it, because I've been
>> having an affair with your best friend, and he's a much better lover
>> than you."
>>
>> Again the husband stays quiet and just speeds up as his anger
>> increases. She says, "I want the house." Again the husband speeds up,
>> and now is doing 70 mph.
>>
>> She says, "I want the kids, too." The husband just keeps driving
>> faster, and faster, now he's up to 80 mph.
>>
>> She says, "I want the car, the checking account, and all the credit
>> cards, too." The husband slowly starts to veer toward a bridge overpass
>> piling, as she says, "Is there anything you want?"
>>
>> The husband says, "No, I've got everything I need."
>>
>> She asks, "Like what?"
>>
>> The husband replies just before they hit the wall at 90 mph, "An
>> airbag."[/color]
>
> Evil. Pure evil (I saw it coming, actually - but I thought he was doing
> a murder-suicide thing)
>
> :-)
>
> Natalie
>[/color]

Gosh, aren't you the sentimental one...

On Wed, 05 Oct 2005 11:29:45 GMT, "\"Dbu''" <nttspam@s2-pc.om> wrote:
[color=blue]
>In article <xn0e84j6pwoup7m000@news.readfreenews.net>,
> "badgolferman" <REMOVETHISbadgolferman@gmail.com> wrote:
>[color=green]
>> A married couple is driving down the interstate doing 55 mph. The
>> husband is behind the wheel. His wife looks over at him and says,
>> "Honey, I know we've been married for 15 years, but, I want a divorce."
>>
>> The husband says nothing but slowly increases speed to 60 mph. She then
>> says, "I don't want you to try to talk me out of it, because I've been
>> having an affair with your best friend, and he's a much better lover
>> than you."
>>
>> Again the husband stays quiet and just speeds up as his anger
>> increases. She says, "I want the house." Again the husband speeds up,
>> and now is doing 70 mph.
>>
>> She says, "I want the kids, too." The husband just keeps driving
>> faster, and faster, now he's up to 80 mph.
>>
>> She says, "I want the car, the checking account, and all the credit
>> cards, too." The husband slowly starts to veer toward a bridge overpass
>> piling, as she says, "Is there anything you want?"
>>
>> The husband says, "No, I've got everything I need."
>>
>> She asks, "Like what?"
>>
>> The husband replies just before they hit the wall at 90 mph, "An
>> airbag."[/color]
>
>Where do you get these things from. It's another pass-along. LOL!![/color]

He keeps my brother and I amused....

They really are great!!
--

Scott in Florida

"Truckdude" <unrealemail@cox.net> wrote in message
news:AKR0f.4834$Vt3.145@trnddc01...[color=blue]
>
> "Wickeddoll®" <wickeddoll1958DIEspammersDIE@yahoo.com> wrote in message
> news:di06mk.3bo.1@news.evilcabal.org...[color=green]
>>
>> "badgolferman" <REMOVETHISbadgolferman@gmail.com> wrote in message
>> news:xn0e84j6pwoup7m000@news.readfreenews.net...[color=darkred]
>>>A married couple is driving down the interstate doing 55 mph. The
>>> husband is behind the wheel. His wife looks over at him and says,
>>> "Honey, I know we've been married for 15 years, but, I want a divorce."
>>>
>>> The husband says nothing but slowly increases speed to 60 mph. She then
>>> says, "I don't want you to try to talk me out of it, because I've been
>>> having an affair with your best friend, and he's a much better lover
>>> than you."
>>>
>>> Again the husband stays quiet and just speeds up as his anger
>>> increases. She says, "I want the house." Again the husband speeds up,
>>> and now is doing 70 mph.
>>>
>>> She says, "I want the kids, too." The husband just keeps driving
>>> faster, and faster, now he's up to 80 mph.
>>>
>>> She says, "I want the car, the checking account, and all the credit
>>> cards, too." The husband slowly starts to veer toward a bridge overpass
>>> piling, as she says, "Is there anything you want?"
>>>
>>> The husband says, "No, I've got everything I need."
>>>
>>> She asks, "Like what?"
>>>
>>> The husband replies just before they hit the wall at 90 mph, "An
>>> airbag."[/color]
>>
>> Evil. Pure evil (I saw it coming, actually - but I thought he was doing
>> a murder-suicide thing)
>>
>> :-)
>>
>> Natalie
>>[/color]
>
> Gosh, aren't you the sentimental one...
>[/color]
Yes - I'm a giver; it's a weakness

Natalie

"Wickeddoll®" <wickeddoll1958DIEspammersDIE@yahoo.com> wrote:
snip[color=blue][color=green]
>>
>> The husband says, "No, I've got everything I need."
>>
>> She asks, "Like what?"
>>
>> The husband replies just before they hit the wall at 90 mph, "An
>> airbag."[/color]
>
>Evil. Pure evil (I saw it coming, actually - but I thought he was doing a
>murder-suicide thing)
>
>:-)
>
>Natalie
>
>[/color]
Well, it likely doesn't need to be said but....I'm pretty sure
you'd have been right Nat...there's no way (imo) that anyone'd
ever live through a 90 MPH prang into a bridge abutment with a
*dozen* airbags...let alone one.
--

-Gord.
(use gordon in email)

On Wed, 05 Oct 2005 18:43:42 GMT, Gord Beaman <gord@islandtelecom.com>
wrote:
[color=blue]
>"Wickeddoll®" <wickeddoll1958DIEspammersDIE@yahoo.com> wrote:
> snip[color=green][color=darkred]
>>>
>>> The husband says, "No, I've got everything I need."
>>>
>>> She asks, "Like what?"
>>>
>>> The husband replies just before they hit the wall at 90 mph, "An
>>> airbag."[/color]
>>
>>Evil. Pure evil (I saw it coming, actually - but I thought he was doing a
>>murder-suicide thing)
>>
>>:-)
>>
>>Natalie
>>
>>[/color]
>Well, it likely doesn't need to be said but....I'm pretty sure
>you'd have been right Nat...there's no way (imo) that anyone'd
>ever live through a 90 MPH prang into a bridge abutment with a
>*dozen* airbags...let alone one.[/color]

EVERYTHING is possible in the 'joke' world...lol

--

Scott in Florida

"Scott in Florida" <JustAsk@Florida.com> wrote in message
news:8t78k1l40sog3ipa0dv9sje5cpcj592uus@4ax.com...
[color=blue]
> On Wed, 05 Oct 2005 18:43:42 GMT, Gord Beaman <gord@islandtelecom.com>
> wrote:
>[color=green]
>>"Wickeddoll®" <wickeddoll1958DIEspammersDIE@yahoo.com> wrote:
>> snip[color=darkred]
>>>>
>>>> The husband says, "No, I've got everything I need."
>>>>
>>>> She asks, "Like what?"
>>>>
>>>> The husband replies just before they hit the wall at 90 mph, "An
>>>> airbag."
>>>
>>>Evil. Pure evil (I saw it coming, actually - but I thought he was doing
>>>a
>>>murder-suicide thing)
>>>
>>>:-)
>>>
>>>Natalie
>>>
>>>[/color]
>>Well, it likely doesn't need to be said but....I'm pretty sure
>>you'd have been right Nat...there's no way (imo) that anyone'd
>>ever live through a 90 MPH prang into a bridge abutment with a
>>*dozen* airbags...let alone one.[/color]
>
> EVERYTHING is possible in the 'joke' world...lol
>
> --
>
> Scott in Florida[/color]


Yeah, just like it is possible for the bride to have said "yes" that many
times in 30 years in this story:
************************
On their wedding night, the young bride approached her new husband and
asked for $20.00 for their first love making encounter. In his highly
aroused state her husband readily agreed.

This scenario was repeated each time they made love, for the next 30 years,
with him thinking that it was a cute way for her to afford new clothes and
other incidentals that she needed.

Arriving home around noon one day, she was surprised to find her husband in
a drunken state. He explained that his employer was going through a
process of corporate downsizing, and he had been let go. It was unlikely
that at the age of 55, he'd be able to find another position that paid
anywhere near what he'd been earning, and therefore, they were financially
ruined.

Calmly, his wife handed him a bank book which showed thirty years of
deposits and interest totaling nearly $1 million. Then she showed him
certificates of deposits issued by the bank which were worth over $2
million, and informed him that they were one of the largest depositors in
the bank. She explained that for the 30 years she had charged him for sex,
these holdings had multiplied and these were the results of her savings and
investments.

Faced with evidence of cash and investments worth over $3 million, her
husband was so astounded he could barely speak, but finally he found his
voice and blurted out, "If I'd had any idea what you were doing, I would
have given you all my business!"

THAT'S WHEN SHE SHOT HIM!

You know, sometimes, men just don't know when to keep their mouths shut..

Scott in Florida, 10/5/2005, 2:47:26 PM,
<8t78k1l40sog3ipa0dv9sje5cpcj592uus@4ax.com> wrote:
[color=blue]
> EVERYTHING is possible in the 'joke' world...lol[/color]

And cartoons.

--
"Golf is like an 18-year-old girl with big boobs. You know it's wrong
but you can't keep away from her." -- Val Doonican

"Gord Beaman" <gord@islandtelecom.com> wrote in message
news:u978k1t3647m6uu2c15topmdkaobui5nd4@4ax.com...[color=blue]
> "Wickeddoll®" <wickeddoll1958DIEspammersDIE@yahoo.com> wrote:
> snip[color=green][color=darkred]
>>>
>>> The husband says, "No, I've got everything I need."
>>>
>>> She asks, "Like what?"
>>>
>>> The husband replies just before they hit the wall at 90 mph, "An
>>> airbag."[/color]
>>
>>Evil. Pure evil (I saw it coming, actually - but I thought he was doing
>>a
>>murder-suicide thing)
>>
>>:-)
>>
>>Natalie
>>
>>[/color]
> Well, it likely doesn't need to be said but....I'm pretty sure
> you'd have been right Nat...there's no way (imo) that anyone'd
> ever live through a 90 MPH prang into a bridge abutment with a
> *dozen* airbags...let alone one.
> --
>
> -Gord.[/color]

Right you are - I've seen proof of this

Natalie, not missing her EMT days a bit

"Ray O" <rokigawa@tristarassociatesDOT.com> wrote in message
news:4e021$43442604$44a4a10d$595@msgid.meganewsservers.com...[color=blue]
>
> "Scott in Florida" <JustAsk@Florida.com> wrote in message
> news:8t78k1l40sog3ipa0dv9sje5cpcj592uus@4ax.com...
>[color=green]
>> On Wed, 05 Oct 2005 18:43:42 GMT, Gord Beaman <gord@islandtelecom.com>
>> wrote:
>>[color=darkred]
>>>"Wickeddoll®" <wickeddoll1958DIEspammersDIE@yahoo.com> wrote:
>>> snip
>>>>>
>>>>> The husband says, "No, I've got everything I need."
>>>>>
>>>>> She asks, "Like what?"
>>>>>
>>>>> The husband replies just before they hit the wall at 90 mph, "An
>>>>> airbag."
>>>>
>>>>Evil. Pure evil (I saw it coming, actually - but I thought he was
>>>>doing a
>>>>murder-suicide thing)
>>>>
>>>>:-)
>>>>
>>>>Natalie
>>>>
>>>>
>>>Well, it likely doesn't need to be said but....I'm pretty sure
>>>you'd have been right Nat...there's no way (imo) that anyone'd
>>>ever live through a 90 MPH prang into a bridge abutment with a
>>>*dozen* airbags...let alone one.[/color]
>>
>> EVERYTHING is possible in the 'joke' world...lol
>>
>> --
>>
>> Scott in Florida[/color]
>
>
> Yeah, just like it is possible for the bride to have said "yes" that many
> times in 30 years in this story:
> ************************
> On their wedding night, the young bride approached her new husband and
> asked for $20.00 for their first love making encounter. In his highly
> aroused state her husband readily agreed.
>
> This scenario was repeated each time they made love, for the next 30
> years, with him thinking that it was a cute way for her to afford new
> clothes and other incidentals that she needed.
>
> Arriving home around noon one day, she was surprised to find her husband
> in a drunken state. He explained that his employer was going through a
> process of corporate downsizing, and he had been let go. It was unlikely
> that at the age of 55, he'd be able to find another position that paid
> anywhere near what he'd been earning, and therefore, they were financially
> ruined.
>
> Calmly, his wife handed him a bank book which showed thirty years of
> deposits and interest totaling nearly $1 million. Then she showed him
> certificates of deposits issued by the bank which were worth over $2
> million, and informed him that they were one of the largest depositors
> in the bank. She explained that for the 30 years she had charged him for
> sex, these holdings had multiplied and these were the results of her
> savings and investments.
>
> Faced with evidence of cash and investments worth over $3 million, her
> husband was so astounded he could barely speak, but finally he found his
> voice and blurted out, "If I'd had any idea what you were doing, I would
> have given you all my business!"
>
> THAT'S WHEN SHE SHOT HIM!
>
> You know, sometimes, men just don't know when to keep their mouths shut..
>
>[/color]
Hehehe - this is one of my faves

Natalie

On Wed, 5 Oct 2005 14:08:04 -0500, "Ray O"
<rokigawa@tristarassociatesDOT.com> wrote:
[color=blue]
>
>"Scott in Florida" <JustAsk@Florida.com> wrote in message
>news:8t78k1l40sog3ipa0dv9sje5cpcj592uus@4ax.com...
>[color=green]
>> On Wed, 05 Oct 2005 18:43:42 GMT, Gord Beaman <gord@islandtelecom.com>
>> wrote:
>>[color=darkred]
>>>"Wickeddoll®" <wickeddoll1958DIEspammersDIE@yahoo.com> wrote:
>>> snip
>>>>>
>>>>> The husband says, "No, I've got everything I need."
>>>>>
>>>>> She asks, "Like what?"
>>>>>
>>>>> The husband replies just before they hit the wall at 90 mph, "An
>>>>> airbag."
>>>>
>>>>Evil. Pure evil (I saw it coming, actually - but I thought he was doing
>>>>a
>>>>murder-suicide thing)
>>>>
>>>>:-)
>>>>
>>>>Natalie
>>>>
>>>>
>>>Well, it likely doesn't need to be said but....I'm pretty sure
>>>you'd have been right Nat...there's no way (imo) that anyone'd
>>>ever live through a 90 MPH prang into a bridge abutment with a
>>>*dozen* airbags...let alone one.[/color]
>>
>> EVERYTHING is possible in the 'joke' world...lol
>>
>> --
>>
>> Scott in Florida[/color]
>
>
>Yeah, just like it is possible for the bride to have said "yes" that many
>times in 30 years in this story:
>************************
>On their wedding night, the young bride approached her new husband and
>asked for $20.00 for their first love making encounter. In his highly
>aroused state her husband readily agreed.
>
>This scenario was repeated each time they made love, for the next 30 years,
>with him thinking that it was a cute way for her to afford new clothes and
>other incidentals that she needed.
>
>Arriving home around noon one day, she was surprised to find her husband in
>a drunken state. He explained that his employer was going through a
>process of corporate downsizing, and he had been let go. It was unlikely
>that at the age of 55, he'd be able to find another position that paid
>anywhere near what he'd been earning, and therefore, they were financially
>ruined.
>
>Calmly, his wife handed him a bank book which showed thirty years of
>deposits and interest totaling nearly $1 million. Then she showed him
>certificates of deposits issued by the bank which were worth over $2
>million, and informed him that they were one of the largest depositors in
>the bank. She explained that for the 30 years she had charged him for sex,
>these holdings had multiplied and these were the results of her savings and
>investments.
>
>Faced with evidence of cash and investments worth over $3 million, her
>husband was so astounded he could barely speak, but finally he found his
>voice and blurted out, "If I'd had any idea what you were doing, I would
>have given you all my business!"
>
>THAT'S WHEN SHE SHOT HIM!
>
>You know, sometimes, men just don't know when to keep their mouths shut..
>[/color]

OMG....that is funny.....

I did NOT see that coming...LOL

stolen forwarded and laffed at....

--

Scott in Florida