OT: Hey Charles of K...

My WV friend has something for you, assuming you're in Illinois; scroll
down:


"Charles @ Kankakee" <n5hsr@comcast.net> wrote in message
news:Tv-dndY7FZGCoszeRVn-ig@comcast.com...[color=blue]
>
> "badgolferman" <REMOVETHISbadgolferman@gmail.com> wrote in message
> news:xn0e8im3t9rcpj5000@news.readfreenews.net...[color=green]
>>A West Virginian man and his new bride were on their honeymoon. The
>> husband jumps into bed to wait for his wife to get herself ready. The
>> wife comes out of the bathroom in a sexy negligee and says "Honey, I
>> have something to tell you. I'm a virgin."
>>
>> The man grabs his clothes and rushes out of the house yelling at the
>> top of his lungs. He heads straight to his father's house. When he
>> gets there, his father says, "Son, what are you doing here? You're
>> supposed to be on your honeymoon."
>>
>> The son says, "Dad, my new wife told me a big secret of hers. She's a
>> virgin."
>>
>> "Damn son. You did the right thing by leaving. If she wasn't good
>> enough for her family, she sure as hell isn't good enough for ours!"
>>[/color]
>
> West Virginia. 2.5 million people, 15 surnames.
>
> Charles of Kankakee
>[/color]
Nah - that's New Hampshire...

Natalie, in deep doo-doo


My WV friend:



Ask Charles if he's read these. I'm assuming he's in Ill.
Dumb Illinois Laws
a.. You may be arrested for vagrancy if you do not have at least one dollar
bill on your person.
a.. You may be convicted of a Class 4 felony offense, punishable by up to
three years in state prison, for the crime of "eavesdropping" on your own
conversation. -720 ILCS 5/14-2.
a.. You must contact the police before entering the city in an automobile.
a.. The English language is not to be spoken.
a.. Chicago
a.. Law forbids eating in a place that is on fire.
a.. It is illegal to give a dog whiskey.
a.. Kites may not be flown within the city limits.
a.. Spitting is forbidden
a.. In the Pullman area, it is illegal to drink beer out of a bucket while
sitting on the curb.
a.. It is forbidden to fish while sitting on a giraffe's neck.
a.. It is legal to protest naked in front of city hall as long as you are
under seventeen years of age and have legal permits.
Champaign
a.. One may not pee in his neighbor's mouth.
Cicero
a.. Humming on public streets is prohibited on Sundays.
Crete
a.. Cars may not be driven through the town.
Des Plaines
a.. Wheelbarrows with For-Sale signs may not be chained to trees.
Eureka
a.. A man with a moustache may not kiss a woman.
Evanston
a.. Bowling is forbidden.
a.. It is illegal to go trick-or-treating on Halloween.
a.. It is unlawful to change clothes in an automobile with the curtains
drawn, except in case of fire.
Fairfield
a.. It is unlawful for "negroes" to be within county boundries from sundown
to sunrise.
Freeport
a.. It is illegal to expectorate from any second-story window.
Galesburg
a.. There is a $1,000 dollar fine for beating rats with baseball bats.
Homer
a.. It is against the law to use a slingshot unless your are a law
enforcement officer.
Joliet
a.. Town fathers, reflecting the pet peeve of hearing their town's name
mispronounced 'Jolly-ETTE' when all local folk know it's pronounced
'Joe-lee-ETTE', made pronouncing it Jolly-ette a misdemeanor, punishable by
a $5 fine.
Kenilworth
a.. A rooster must step back three hundred feet from any residence if he
wishes to crow. Hens that wish to cackle must step two hundred feet back
from any residence.
Kirkland
a.. Bees are not allowed to fly over the village or through any of Kriland's
streets.
Moline
a.. Ice skating at the Riverside pond during the months of June and August
is prohibited.
a.. There is a ban on unnecessary repetitive driving on 23rd Avenue.
Morton Grove
a.. You may not own a handgun
Normal
a.. It is against the law to make faces at dogs.
Orland Park
a.. No pool tables are allowed in a public establishment, because it
supports gambling.
Ottawa
a.. Spitting on the sidewalk is a criminal offense.
Park Ridge
a.. Trucks may only park inside closed garages.
Peoria
a.. Basketball hoops may not be instaled on a driveway.
Zion
a.. It is illegal for anyone to give lighted cigars to dogs, cats, or any
other domesticated animals.

This is getting good...

Natalie

--




[url]http://www.dwarfstar.net[/url]

The best internet relay chat network in the entire world!

"Wicked little doll, you are not human;
Wicked little doll, you have no soul"
(David Byrne, 1997)

"Wickeddoll®" <wickeddoll1958DIEspammersDIE@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:dir2or.1k8.1@news.evilcabal.org...[color=blue]
> My WV friend has something for you, assuming you're in Illinois; scroll
> down:
>
>
> "Charles @ Kankakee" <n5hsr@comcast.net> wrote in message
> news:Tv-dndY7FZGCoszeRVn-ig@comcast.com...[color=green]
>>
>> "badgolferman" <REMOVETHISbadgolferman@gmail.com> wrote in message
>> news:xn0e8im3t9rcpj5000@news.readfreenews.net...[color=darkred]
>>>A West Virginian man and his new bride were on their honeymoon. The
>>> husband jumps into bed to wait for his wife to get herself ready. The
>>> wife comes out of the bathroom in a sexy negligee and says "Honey, I
>>> have something to tell you. I'm a virgin."
>>>
>>> The man grabs his clothes and rushes out of the house yelling at the
>>> top of his lungs. He heads straight to his father's house. When he
>>> gets there, his father says, "Son, what are you doing here? You're
>>> supposed to be on your honeymoon."
>>>
>>> The son says, "Dad, my new wife told me a big secret of hers. She's a
>>> virgin."
>>>
>>> "Damn son. You did the right thing by leaving. If she wasn't good
>>> enough for her family, she sure as hell isn't good enough for ours!"
>>>[/color]
>>
>> West Virginia. 2.5 million people, 15 surnames.
>>
>> Charles of Kankakee
>>[/color]
> Nah - that's New Hampshire...
>
> Natalie, in deep doo-doo
>
>
> My WV friend:
>
>
>
> Ask Charles if he's read these. I'm assuming he's in Ill.
> Dumb Illinois Laws
> a.. You may be arrested for vagrancy if you do not have at least one
> dollar bill on your person.
> a.. You may be convicted of a Class 4 felony offense, punishable by up to
> three years in state prison, for the crime of "eavesdropping" on your own
> conversation. -720 ILCS 5/14-2.
> a.. You must contact the police before entering the city in an automobile.
> a.. The English language is not to be spoken.
> a.. Chicago
> a.. Law forbids eating in a place that is on fire.
> a.. It is illegal to give a dog whiskey.
> a.. Kites may not be flown within the city limits.
> a.. Spitting is forbidden
> a.. In the Pullman area, it is illegal to drink beer out of a bucket while
> sitting on the curb.
> a.. It is forbidden to fish while sitting on a giraffe's neck.
> a.. It is legal to protest naked in front of city hall as long as you are
> under seventeen years of age and have legal permits.
> Champaign
> a.. One may not pee in his neighbor's mouth.
> Cicero
> a.. Humming on public streets is prohibited on Sundays.
> Crete
> a.. Cars may not be driven through the town.
> Des Plaines
> a.. Wheelbarrows with For-Sale signs may not be chained to trees.
> Eureka
> a.. A man with a moustache may not kiss a woman.
> Evanston
> a.. Bowling is forbidden.
> a.. It is illegal to go trick-or-treating on Halloween.
> a.. It is unlawful to change clothes in an automobile with the curtains
> drawn, except in case of fire.
> Fairfield
> a.. It is unlawful for "negroes" to be within county boundries from
> sundown to sunrise.
> Freeport
> a.. It is illegal to expectorate from any second-story window.
> Galesburg
> a.. There is a $1,000 dollar fine for beating rats with baseball bats.
> Homer
> a.. It is against the law to use a slingshot unless your are a law
> enforcement officer.
> Joliet
> a.. Town fathers, reflecting the pet peeve of hearing their town's name
> mispronounced 'Jolly-ETTE' when all local folk know it's pronounced
> 'Joe-lee-ETTE', made pronouncing it Jolly-ette a misdemeanor, punishable
> by a $5 fine.
> Kenilworth
> a.. A rooster must step back three hundred feet from any residence if he
> wishes to crow. Hens that wish to cackle must step two hundred feet back
> from any residence.
> Kirkland
> a.. Bees are not allowed to fly over the village or through any of
> Kriland's streets.
> Moline
> a.. Ice skating at the Riverside pond during the months of June and August
> is prohibited.
> a.. There is a ban on unnecessary repetitive driving on 23rd Avenue.
> Morton Grove
> a.. You may not own a handgun
> Normal
> a.. It is against the law to make faces at dogs.
> Orland Park
> a.. No pool tables are allowed in a public establishment, because it
> supports gambling.
> Ottawa
> a.. Spitting on the sidewalk is a criminal offense.
> Park Ridge
> a.. Trucks may only park inside closed garages.
> Peoria
> a.. Basketball hoops may not be instaled on a driveway.
> Zion
> a.. It is illegal for anyone to give lighted cigars to dogs, cats, or any
> other domesticated animals.
>
> This is getting good...
>
> Natalie
>
> --
>
>
>
>
> [url]http://www.dwarfstar.net[/url]
>
> The best internet relay chat network in the entire world!
>
> "Wicked little doll, you are not human;
> Wicked little doll, you have no soul"
> (David Byrne, 1997)
>
>[/color]

Yep. Welcome to the People's Demoncratic Respublic of Illinois.
Supposedly the third worst state in the Union to start a new business. (New
York and California are number 1 and 2?) Between taxes and regulations,
businesses are fleeing over the border.

Charles

"Wickeddoll®" <wickeddoll1958DIEspammersDIE@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:dir2or.1k8.1@news.evilcabal.org...[color=blue]
> My WV friend has something for you, assuming you're in Illinois; scroll
> down:
>
>
> Ask Charles if he's read these. I'm assuming he's in Ill.
> Dumb Illinois Laws
> a.. You may be arrested for vagrancy if you do not have at least one
> dollar bill on your person.[/color]
Been guilty of that many times. . . .
[color=blue]
> a.. You may be convicted of a Class 4 felony offense, punishable by up to
> three years in state prison, for the crime of "eavesdropping" on your own
> conversation. -720 ILCS 5/14-2.[/color]
[color=blue]
> a.. You must contact the police before entering the city in an automobile.[/color]

Which city?[color=blue]
> a.. The English language is not to be spoken.[/color]

Sounds like most of Chicago.[color=blue]
> a.. Chicago
> a.. Law forbids eating in a place that is on fire.
> a.. It is illegal to give a dog whiskey.[/color]
Well, go arrest my grandfather. He got our dog Pepper drunk about the time
I was 2. . . . What? He's not alive anymore? That's impossible, he's
still voting.
[color=blue]
> a.. Kites may not be flown within the city limits.
> a.. Spitting is forbidden
> a.. In the Pullman area, it is illegal to drink beer out of a bucket while
> sitting on the curb.
> a.. It is forbidden to fish while sitting on a giraffe's neck.
> a.. It is legal to protest naked in front of city hall as long as you are
> under seventeen years of age and have legal permits.[/color]
Figures.
[color=blue]
> Champaign
> a.. One may not pee in his neighbor's mouth.[/color]

No comment.
[color=blue]
> Cicero
> a.. Humming on public streets is prohibited on Sundays.[/color]

And speaking ill of Al Capone might still get you run out of town.
[color=blue]
> Crete
> a.. Cars may not be driven through the town.[/color]
[color=blue]
> Des Plaines
> a.. Wheelbarrows with For-Sale signs may not be chained to trees.[/color]
[color=blue]
> Eureka
> a.. A man with a moustache may not kiss a woman.[/color]
Well then, I can't go kissing any woman in Eureka. Does it say anything
about girls?
[color=blue]
> Evanston
> a.. Bowling is forbidden.
> a.. It is illegal to go trick-or-treating on Halloween.
> a.. It is unlawful to change clothes in an automobile with the curtains
> drawn, except in case of fire.[/color]
[color=blue]
> Fairfield
> a.. It is unlawful for "negroes" to be within county boundries from
> sundown to sunrise.[/color]

From 1848 to 1865 free Negroes were banned from Illinois entirely.
[color=blue]
> Freeport
> a.. It is illegal to expectorate from any second-story window.[/color]
[color=blue]
> Galesburg
> a.. There is a $1,000 dollar fine for beating rats with baseball bats.[/color]
[color=blue]
> Homer
> a.. It is against the law to use a slingshot unless your are a law
> enforcement officer.[/color]
[color=blue]
> Joliet
> a.. Town fathers, reflecting the pet peeve of hearing their town's name
> mispronounced 'Jolly-ETTE' when all local folk know it's pronounced
> 'Joe-lee-ETTE', made pronouncing it Jolly-ette a misdemeanor, punishable
> by a $5 fine.[/color]
That was probably when $5 was worth something. . . .
[color=blue]
> Kenilworth
> a.. A rooster must step back three hundred feet from any residence if he
> wishes to crow. Hens that wish to cackle must step two hundred feet back
> from any residence.[/color]

[color=blue]
> Kirkland
> a.. Bees are not allowed to fly over the village or through any of
> Kriland's streets.[/color]

[color=blue]
> Moline
> a.. Ice skating at the Riverside pond during the months of June and August
> is prohibited.[/color]
Why not July?
[color=blue]
> a.. There is a ban on unnecessary repetitive driving on 23rd Avenue.[/color]

We were on 23d Avenue house hunting a couple years back.
[color=blue]
> Morton Grove
> a.. You may not own a handgun[/color]
Handguns are supposedly illegal in Chicago, too, but the gangs still seem to
have them.
[color=blue]
> Normal
> a.. It is against the law to make faces at dogs.[/color]

[color=blue]
> Orland Park
> a.. No pool tables are allowed in a public establishment, because it
> supports gambling.
> Ottawa
> a.. Spitting on the sidewalk is a criminal offense.
> Park Ridge
> a.. Trucks may only park inside closed garages.[/color]
This applies to several NW suburbs.
[color=blue]
> Peoria
> a.. Basketball hoops may not be instaled on a driveway.
> Zion
> a.. It is illegal for anyone to give lighted cigars to dogs, cats, or any
> other domesticated animals.[/color]

How about unlit cigars?
[color=blue]
>
> This is getting good...
>
> Natalie
>
> --
>
>
>
>
> [url]http://www.dwarfstar.net[/url]
>
> The best internet relay chat network in the entire world!
>
> "Wicked little doll, you are not human;
> Wicked little doll, you have no soul"
> (David Byrne, 1997)[/color]

Charles of Kankakee[color=blue]
>
>[/color]

On Sat, 15 Oct 2005 14:12:32 -0400, Wickeddoll® wrote:
[color=blue]
> My WV friend has something for you, assuming you're in Illinois; scroll
> down:
>
>
> "Charles @ Kankakee" <n5hsr@comcast.net> wrote in message
> news:Tv-dndY7FZGCoszeRVn-ig@comcast.com...[color=green]
>>
>> "badgolferman" <REMOVETHISbadgolferman@gmail.com> wrote in message
>> news:xn0e8im3t9rcpj5000@news.readfreenews.net...[color=darkred]
>>>A West Virginian man and his new bride were on their honeymoon. The
>>> husband jumps into bed to wait for his wife to get herself ready. The
>>> wife comes out of the bathroom in a sexy negligee and says "Honey, I
>>> have something to tell you. I'm a virgin."
>>>
>>> The man grabs his clothes and rushes out of the house yelling at the
>>> top of his lungs. He heads straight to his father's house. When he
>>> gets there, his father says, "Son, what are you doing here? You're
>>> supposed to be on your honeymoon."
>>>
>>> The son says, "Dad, my new wife told me a big secret of hers. She's a
>>> virgin."
>>>
>>> "Damn son. You did the right thing by leaving. If she wasn't good
>>> enough for her family, she sure as hell isn't good enough for ours!"
>>>[/color]
>>
>> West Virginia. 2.5 million people, 15 surnames.
>>
>> Charles of Kankakee
>>[/color]
> Nah - that's New Hampshire...
>
> Natalie, in deep doo-doo
>
>
> My WV friend:
>
>
>
> Ask Charles if he's read these. I'm assuming he's in Ill.
> Dumb Illinois Laws
> a.. You may be arrested for vagrancy if you do not have at least one dollar
> bill on your person.[/color]

Disregarding the keys to your $15,000 Camry?
[color=blue]
> a.. You may be convicted of a Class 4 felony offense, punishable by up to
> three years in state prison, for the crime of "eavesdropping" on your own
> conversation. -720 ILCS 5/14-2.[/color]

A LOT of people here don't listen to what they're saying!
[color=blue]
> a.. You must contact the police before entering the city in an automobile.
> a.. The English language is not to be spoken.[/color]

Gaelic preferred?
[color=blue]
> a.. Chicago
> a.. Law forbids eating in a place that is on fire.[/color]

Dinnre at the Benihana is out!
[color=blue]
> a.. It is illegal to give a dog whiskey.
> a.. Kites may not be flown within the city limits.
> a.. Spitting is forbidden
> a.. In the Pullman area, it is illegal to drink beer out of a bucket while
> sitting on the curb.[/color]

But OK to suck it out of a keg...
[color=blue]
> a.. It is forbidden to fish while sitting on a giraffe's neck.
> a.. It is legal to protest naked in front of city hall as long as you are
> under seventeen years of age and have legal permits.[/color]

I'm there!
[color=blue]
> Champaign
> a.. One may not pee in his neighbor's mouth.
> Cicero
> a.. Humming on public streets is prohibited on Sundays.
> Crete
> a.. Cars may not be driven through the town.
> Des Plaines
> a.. Wheelbarrows with For-Sale signs may not be chained to trees.
> Eureka
> a.. A man with a moustache may not kiss a woman.
> Evanston
> a.. Bowling is forbidden.
> a.. It is illegal to go trick-or-treating on Halloween.[/color]

Actually, It's like this in a LOT of places now...
[color=blue]
> a.. It is unlawful to change clothes in an automobile with the curtains
> drawn, except in case of fire.
> Fairfield
> a.. It is unlawful for "negroes" to be within county boundries from sundown
> to sunrise.
> Freeport
> a.. It is illegal to expectorate from any second-story window.
> Galesburg
> a.. There is a $1,000 dollar fine for beating rats with baseball bats.[/color]

Tennis racquet OK?
[color=blue]
> Homer
> a.. It is against the law to use a slingshot unless your are a law
> enforcement officer.
> Joliet
> a.. Town fathers, reflecting the pet peeve of hearing their town's name
> mispronounced 'Jolly-ETTE' when all local folk know it's pronounced
> 'Joe-lee-ETTE', made pronouncing it Jolly-ette a misdemeanor, punishable by
> a $5 fine.
> Kenilworth
> a.. A rooster must step back three hundred feet from any residence if he
> wishes to crow. Hens that wish to cackle must step two hundred feet back
> from any residence.
> Kirkland
> a.. Bees are not allowed to fly over the village or through any of Kriland's
> streets.
> Moline
> a.. Ice skating at the Riverside pond during the months of June and August
> is prohibited.
> a.. There is a ban on unnecessary repetitive driving on 23rd Avenue.
> Morton Grove
> a.. You may not own a handgun
> Normal
> a.. It is against the law to make faces at dogs.
> Orland Park
> a.. No pool tables are allowed in a public establishment, because it
> supports gambling.
> Ottawa
> a.. Spitting on the sidewalk is a criminal offense.
> Park Ridge
> a.. Trucks may only park inside closed garages.
> Peoria
> a.. Basketball hoops may not be instaled on a driveway.
> Zion
> a.. It is illegal for anyone to give lighted cigars to dogs, cats, or any
> other domesticated animals.
>
> This is getting good...
>
> Natalie[/color]

a.. Basketball hoops may not be installed on a driveway. Zion
--------
Actually I agree with this one in a way. They put them at the end of the
driveway her in Fla and play in the street. One morning while riding my
motorscooter, I saw one laying across the road. Glad I didn't go through
at night. I may have NOT seen it..

Not to mention you get dirty looks for driving on the street while they
are playing. How dare we??

CP

"I thought I was wrong once but I was mistaken'. - unknown.