OT Overcoming Liberalism: A 12-Step Program

From a good friend that shall remain nameless :-)

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Step 1: Admitting that you're a liberal

This is the first step for every liberal on the way to recovery. It is
important to understand that you're not "progressive", "moderate", or
"enlightened". You're a liberal, and you need to be honest with
yourself about that fact.

Step 2: Pledge to support your beliefs with facts

Realize that truth is more important than moral superiority and is the
only way to come over to reality. You must research beyond propaganda
from the Sierra Club, Hilllary Clinton, and CNN to understand things
as they really exist in the world. You can no longer argue based on
"feelings" or emotion. You will actually need to back up your
arguments with real information. This is a difficult step, because it
means you can't be lazy any more.

Step 3: Love America

This may be the most difficult step for those of you who are hippies
and peaceniks. Admitting that the country you hate actually stands as
a beacon to defend freedom throughout the world can make some of you
physically ill. You might want to make a visit to a military cemetery
to better understand that these men and women gave their lives so that
you could spew hatred. Otherwise, you would currently be living in a
police state that would never let you wear that nasty patchouli oil,
let alone speak out against your government.

Step 4: Take a college level economics class

A Socialist is defined as someone who's never taken an economics
class. Most Socialists have a hard time balancing their checkbooks,
let alone explaining the simple concept of supply-and-demand. It's
time to flush your complete ignorance of basic economics down the
toilet and understand how the world actually functions. This concept
will be very important for the next steps that involve communism,
facts about corporations, and the inefficiencies of government.

Step 5: Say "no" to Communism and Socialism

While this concept is obvious to most of the free world, it is an
important step in your recovery process. If you have difficulty with
this step, spend a week living and working in Cuba.

Step 6: Corporations are not evil

If you're reading this article on-line or in an email, it's thanks to
corporations. If you get some kind of paycheck, you can thank
corporations. If you work for a nonprofit or the government, you still
have to thank corporations. The nonprofit sector and the government
wouldn't have any money to pay you without corporations. It is also
important that you understand that making a profit doesn't equate to
"greed" or exploitation. Capitalism has created the greatest society
in our world's history. Even communist countries need corporations to
survive, so enjoy a nice, hot cup of reality.

Step 7: The government is inefficient

If you are one of those liberals who believe the government should tax
us more in order to take care of society, you need to pay special
attention to this step. You need to realize that government
bureaucracy will waste most of your tax dollars, while the private
sector will put your money to much better use. Even most Democrat
politicians understand this to some degree, which is why Hillary's
socialist healthcare proposal was voted down by a majority of both
Democrats and Republicans. Go to your local post office or call the
IRS to ask a tax question if you need a reminder about government
inefficiency.

Step 8: The earth is not your "mother", and she's not dying

The time has now come to stop your donations to Greenpeace, The Sierra
Club, and every other EnviroNazi organization to which you belong.
Face the reality that the earth, society and our environment are
better off today than ever in recorded history and that they are
continuing to improve. I realize that many of you tree huggers will
have a very difficult time letting go of the Douglas Fir on this one.
I would suggest reading The Skeptical Environmentalist by Bjorn
Lomborg. Mr. Lomborg is a former member of Greenpeace and is currently
a statistics professor at a university in Denmark. He set out to prove
the world was in bad shape and ended up surprising himself by proving
the exact opposite.

Step 9: Stop smoking the wacky tobacco

Okay, some of you might need to enter another 12-step program to
complete this step. Marijuana is distorting your sense of reality, and
you need to stop using it. Besides, you'll save a fortune on snacks.

Step 10: Eat a hamburger

If God didn't intend for us to eat animals, he wouldn't have made them
out of meat. You can put your sprouts and tofu on the hamburger, but
get some meat into you. You'll look and feel better than you ever
imagined. You can always remind yourself that Nazi propaganda hailed
Adolf Hitler as a vegetarian to get you through this step.

Step 11: Stop re-writing political history

It's now time to admit that Bill Clinton is a
lying-cheating-sexist-racist-rapist jackass, Hillary Clinton is one of
the worst role models for women in this country, Al Gore really did
lose the 2000 election by every vote tabulation you attempt, Ronald
Reagan ended the Cold War and didn't create the homeless problem, John
McCain is not a typical Republican, and Jimmy Carter is a nice man but
has one of the worst presidential records of anyone in history.

Step 12: Be a missionary

Once you have completed the previous steps to overcoming liberalism,
it's time for you to share this awakening with others who are not as
fortunate. Go out amongst the liberal sheep and spread the good word
of your freedom from the chains of ignorance that once bound you.
Congratulations, and welcome to reality.
--

Scott in Florida

Scott in Florida, 12/2/2005, 12:02:09 PM,
<4ev0p11qq5djn48h7cq91mnqfnst5b0hda@4ax.com> wrote:
[color=blue]
> Step 1: Admitting that you're a liberal
>[/color]

You forgot to list a schedule of meetings.

--
"Truth does not change according to our ability to stomach it."
~ Flannery O'Connor

Scott in Florida wrote:
[color=blue]
> Step 1: Admitting that you're a liberal[/color]

Step 2: Join al Quada

"Norm De Plume" <norm_de_plume@my-deja.com> wrote in message
news:1133572419.124606.301570@g14g2000cwa.googlegroups.com...[color=blue]
>
> Scott in Florida wrote:
>[color=green]
>> Step 1: Admitting that you're a liberal[/color]
>
> Step 2: Join al Quada
>[/color]

Wait a second, I thought this was overcoming liberalism, not overcoming
Christianity.

Charles of Kankakee

Excellent cut and paste job....

I love America, I'm a Democrat, the economy mystifies me. I pay my own
freight, my touchstone is my parents.
A high school teacher/Commander in the Navy Reserve, and at-home Mom,
with 5 children, one income household, bought a 4-bedroom house on the
beach.
You tell me where a high school teacher can do this today...you're the
economics expert, g'head. It should be able to happen...when did it all
go wrong.
Proportion...people should not be losing jobs due to financial reasons
when the executives are earning millions...capitalism at it's best.
There's too much at the top...we call that Republican. Be one, we'll be
fine. We got people. Turn the news and the internet off, live a
life, God will sort it out.

<mmward@webtv.net> wrote in message
news:21792-439295F0-1458@storefull-3152.bay.webtv.net...[color=blue]
> Excellent cut and paste job....
>
> I love America, I'm a Democrat, the economy mystifies me. I pay my own
> freight, my touchstone is my parents.
> A high school teacher/Commander in the Navy Reserve, and at-home Mom,
> with 5 children, one income household, bought a 4-bedroom house on the
> beach.
> You tell me where a high school teacher can do this today...you're the
> economics expert, g'head. It should be able to happen...when did it all
> go wrong.
> Proportion...people should not be losing jobs due to financial reasons
> when the executives are earning millions...capitalism at it's best.
> There's too much at the top...we call that Republican. Be one, we'll be
> fine. We got people. Turn the news and the internet off, live a
> life, God will sort it out.
>[/color]

Again, WAY too serious. You need to learn to laugh a little. This isn't all
that important.

George Bush is out jogging one morning, notices Little Johnny on the
corner with a box. Curious he runs over to Little Johnny and says,
"What's in the box kid?"
Little Johnny says, "Kittens, they're brand new kittens."
George Bush laughs and says, "What kind of kittens are they?"
"Republicans," says Little Johnny.
"Oh that's cute," he says and he goes on his way.
A couple of days later George Bush is running with his buddy Dick Cheney
and he spies Little Johnny with his box just ahead.
George Bush says to Dick, "You gotta check this out" and they both jog
over to Little Johnny.
George Bush says, "Look in the box Dick, isn't that cute? Look at those
little kittens. Hey kid tell my friend Dick what kind of kittens they
are."
Little Johnny replies, "They're Democrats."
"Whoa!" George Bush says, "I came by here the other day and you said
they were Republicans. What's up?"
"Well," Little Johnny explains, "Their eyes are open now."
*

[email]mmward@webtv.net[/email]> wrote in message
news:21792-439295F0-1458@storefull-3152.bay.webtv.net...
Excellent cut and paste job....
I love America, I'm a Democrat, the economy mystifies me. I pay my own
freight, my touchstone is my parents.
A high school teacher/Commander in the Navy Reserve, and at-home Mom,
with 5 children, one income household, bought a 4-bedroom house on the
beach.
You tell me where a high school teacher can do this today...you're the
economics expert, g'head. It should be able to happen...when did it all
go wrong.
Proportion...people should not be losing jobs due to financial reasons
when the executives are earning millions...capitalism at it's best.
There's too much at the top...we call that Republican. Be one, we'll be
fine. We got people. * Turn the news and the internet off, live a
life, God will sort it out.
Again, WAY too serious. You need to learn to laugh a little. This isn't
all that important.


Honey, I'm tryin'. I don't like the government in my face every day,
it is that important, they made it so, wasn't always that way, until
they went so wrong, like we have to answer to them. They're the civil
servants, they have to answer to us, but we've caved.
Laugh? Ask me how many times I've seen Eddie Izzard...I'm just trying
to live a large life, baby....but expected to feel very small, very
Nazi-ish. I'm becoming scared to death.

Izz Fan, 12/4/2005,3:24:12 AM, wrote:
[color=blue]
> Little Johnny replies, "They're Democrats."
> "Whoa!" George Bush says, "I came by here the other day and you said
> they were Republicans. What's up?"
> "Well," Little Johnny explains, "Their eyes are open now."[/color]

It's funny how the same jokes get recycled over time with different
endings. I heard this one 6-7 years ago with Deocrats being the brunt
of the joke.

Bill Clinton is out jogging one morning, notices Little Johnny on the
corner with a box. Curious he runs over to Little Johnny and says,
"What's in the box kid?"
Little Johnny says, "Kittens, they're brand new kittens."
Bill Clinton laughs and says, "What kind of kittens are they?"
"Democrats," says Little Johnny.
"Oh that's cute," he says and he goes on his way.
A couple of days later Bill Clinton is running with his buddy big Al Gore
and he spies Little Johnny with his box just ahead.
Bill Clinton says to big Al, "You gotta check this out" and they both jog
over to Little Johnny.
Bill Clinton says, "Look in the box Al, isn't that cute? Look at those
little kittens. Hey kid tell my friend big Al what kind of kittens they
are."
Little Johnny replies, "They're Republicans"
"Whoa!" Bill Clinton says, "I came by here the other day and you said
they were Democrats. What's up?"
"Well," Little Johnny explains, "Their eyes are open now."
*
--

On Sun, 04 Dec 2005 13:32:31 GMT, The benevolent dbu
<relaxand@smelltheroses.com> wrote:
[color=blue]
> Bill Clinton is out jogging one morning, notices Little Johnny on the
>corner with a box. Curious he runs over to Little Johnny and says,
>"What's in the box kid?"
>Little Johnny says, "Kittens, they're brand new kittens."
>Bill Clinton laughs and says, "What kind of kittens are they?"
>"Democrats," says Little Johnny.
>"Oh that's cute," he says and he goes on his way.
>A couple of days later Bill Clinton is running with his buddy big Al Gore
>and he spies Little Johnny with his box just ahead.
>Bill Clinton says to big Al, "You gotta check this out" and they both jog
>over to Little Johnny.
>Bill Clinton says, "Look in the box Al, isn't that cute? Look at those
>little kittens. Hey kid tell my friend big Al what kind of kittens they
>are."
>Little Johnny replies, "They're Republicans"
>"Whoa!" Bill Clinton says, "I came by here the other day and you said
>they were Democrats. What's up?"
>"Well," Little Johnny explains, "Their eyes are open now."
>*[/color]

More like it....LOL

Did you keep the pot stirred while I was gone?

--

Scott in Florida