OT: History lesson

History Lesson

Humans existed as members of small bands of nomadic
hunter/gatherers.
They lived on deer in the mountains during the summer
& would go to the
coast and live on fish and lobster in winter.

The two most important events in all of history were
the invention of
Beer and the invention of the wheel. The wheel was
invented to get man
to the beer. These were the foundation of modern
civilization and
together were the catalyst for the splitting of
humanity into two
distinct subgroups: Liberals and Conservatives.

Once beer was discovered it required grain and that
was the beginning of
agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can
were invented
yet, so while our early human ancestors were sitting
around waiting
for them to be invented, they just stayed close to the
brewery. That's
how villages were formed.

Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals
to BBQ at night
while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning
of what is known
as the "Conservative movement."

Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting
learned to live
off the conservatives by showing up for the nightly
BBQs and doing the
sewing, fetching and hair dressing. This was the
beginning of "the
Liberal movement". Some of these liberal men
eventually evolved into
women. The rest became known as 'girliemen.'

Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the
domestication of cats,
the invention of group therapy and group hugs, and the
concept of
Democratic voting to decide how to divide the meat and
beer that
conservatives provided.

Over the years conservatives came to be symbolized by
the largest, most
powerful land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals
are symbolized by
the jackass.

Modern liberals like imported beer (with lime added),
but most prefer
white wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw
fish but like their
beef well done. Sushi, tofu, and French food are
standard liberal fare.

Another interesting evolutionary side note: most of
their women have
higher testosterone levels than their men. Most social
workers, personal
injury attorneys, journalists, dreamers in Hollywood
and group
therapists are liberals. Liberals invented the
designated hitter rule
because it wasn't "fair" to make the pitcher also
bat.

Conservatives drink domestic beer. They eat red meat
and still provide
for their women. Conservatives are big-game hunters,
rodeo cowboys,
lumberjacks, construction workers, firemen, medical
doctors, police
officers, corporate executives, Marines, athletes and
generally anyone
who works productively. Conservatives who own
companies hire other
conservatives who want to work for a living.

Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to
"govern! " the
producers and decide what to do with their
production. Liberals believe
Europeans are more enlightened than Americans. That
is why most of the
liberals remained in Europe when conservatives were
coming to America.
They crept in after the Wild West was tame and created
a business of
trying to get MORE for nothing.

Here ends today's lesson in world history. It should
be noted that a
Liberal may have a momentary urge to respond to the
above before simply
giggling and forwarding it. A Conservative will be so
convinced of the
absolute truth of this history that it will be
forwarded immediately to
other "true believers."

"Dan J.S." <me@hyperx.com> wrote in message
news:11p90agmurc9e21@news.supernews.com...[color=blue]
> History Lesson
>
> Humans existed as members of small bands of nomadic
> hunter/gatherers.
> They lived on deer in the mountains during the summer
> & would go to the
> coast and live on fish and lobster in winter.
>
> The two most important events in all of history were
> the invention of
> Beer and the invention of the wheel. The wheel was
> invented to get man
> to the beer. These were the foundation of modern
> civilization and
> together were the catalyst for the splitting of
> humanity into two
> distinct subgroups: Liberals and Conservatives.
>
> Once beer was discovered it required grain and that
> was the beginning of
> agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can
> were invented
> yet, so while our early human ancestors were sitting
> around waiting
> for them to be invented, they just stayed close to the
> brewery. That's
> how villages were formed.
>
> Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals
> to BBQ at night
> while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning
> of what is known
> as the "Conservative movement."
>
> Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting
> learned to live
> off the conservatives by showing up for the nightly
> BBQs and doing the
> sewing, fetching and hair dressing. This was the
> beginning of "the
> Liberal movement". Some of these liberal men
> eventually evolved into
> women. The rest became known as 'girliemen.'
>
> Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the
> domestication of cats,
> the invention of group therapy and group hugs, and the
> concept of
> Democratic voting to decide how to divide the meat and
> beer that
> conservatives provided.
>
> Over the years conservatives came to be symbolized by
> the largest, most
> powerful land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals
> are symbolized by
> the jackass.
>
> Modern liberals like imported beer (with lime added),
> but most prefer
> white wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw
> fish but like their
> beef well done. Sushi, tofu, and French food are
> standard liberal fare.
>
> Another interesting evolutionary side note: most of
> their women have
> higher testosterone levels than their men. Most social
> workers, personal
> injury attorneys, journalists, dreamers in Hollywood
> and group
> therapists are liberals. Liberals invented the
> designated hitter rule
> because it wasn't "fair" to make the pitcher also
> bat.
>
> Conservatives drink domestic beer. They eat red meat
> and still provide
> for their women. Conservatives are big-game hunters,
> rodeo cowboys,
> lumberjacks, construction workers, firemen, medical
> doctors, police
> officers, corporate executives, Marines, athletes and
> generally anyone
> who works productively. Conservatives who own
> companies hire other
> conservatives who want to work for a living.
>
> Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to
> "govern! " the
> producers and decide what to do with their
> production. Liberals believe
> Europeans are more enlightened than Americans. That
> is why most of the
> liberals remained in Europe when conservatives were
> coming to America.
> They crept in after the Wild West was tame and created
> a business of
> trying to get MORE for nothing.
>
> Here ends today's lesson in world history. It should
> be noted that a
> Liberal may have a momentary urge to respond to the
> above before simply
> giggling and forwarding it. A Conservative will be so
> convinced of the
> absolute truth of this history that it will be
> forwarded immediately to
> other "true believers."
>[/color]

I guess I will be the one to bust your bubble...hardly anyone will be
forwarding this because it has been floating around so long that most
everyone has seen it.

[color=blue]
>
> I guess I will be the one to bust your bubble...hardly anyone will be
> forwarding this because it has been floating around so long that most
> everyone has seen it.
>[/color]

I know. This is just to remind communist liberals why they may enjoy group
hugs.

"Dan J.S." <me@hyperx.com> wrote in message
news:11p9vfqk24pcoec@news.supernews.com...[color=blue]
>[color=green]
>>
>> I guess I will be the one to bust your bubble...hardly anyone will be
>> forwarding this because it has been floating around so long that most
>> everyone has seen it.
>>[/color]
>
> I know. This is just to remind communist liberals why they may enjoy group
> hugs.
>[/color]

Of course it is. As a man who leans to the left politically, I find it
amusing how so-called conservatives constantly have to reassert their
manliness. (your post for example) Heck, repeat it as often as necessary.
After a while, I am sure people will be convinced. If not, buy yourself a
lifted 4X4 truck. Then there will be no mistaking how secure you are.

"Truckdude" <unrealemail@cox.net> wrote in message
news:5m7lf.1698$EB3.1436@trnddc09...[color=blue]
>
> "Dan J.S." <me@hyperx.com> wrote in message
> news:11p9vfqk24pcoec@news.supernews.com...[color=green]
>>[color=darkred]
>>>
>>> I guess I will be the one to bust your bubble...hardly anyone will be
>>> forwarding this because it has been floating around so long that most
>>> everyone has seen it.
>>>[/color]
>>
>> I know. This is just to remind communist liberals why they may enjoy
>> group hugs.
>>[/color]
>
> Of course it is. As a man who leans to the left politically, I find it
> amusing how so-called conservatives constantly have to reassert their
> manliness. (your post for example) Heck, repeat it as often as necessary.
> After a while, I am sure people will be convinced. If not, buy yourself a
> lifted 4X4 truck. Then there will be no mistaking how secure you are.
>[/color]
Which 4x4 do you recommend? If this will help my security, I am all for it.
I might have to sell the two Porsches, and the Austin Martin - I was going
after the wrong cars! AND YOU SHOWED ME THE WAY.

Thank you, hero!

Now, if someone could prescribe me some Viagra, I would definitely see the
light and lean left myself!

Truckdude wrote:[color=blue]
> "Dan J.S." <me@hyperx.com> wrote in message
> news:11p9vfqk24pcoec@news.supernews.com...[color=green]
> >[color=darkred]
> >>
> >> I guess I will be the one to bust your bubble...hardly anyone will be
> >> forwarding this because it has been floating around so long that most
> >> everyone has seen it.
> >>[/color]
> >
> > I know. This is just to remind communist liberals why they may enjoy group
> > hugs.
> >[/color]
>
> Of course it is. As a man who leans to the left politically, I find it
> amusing how so-called conservatives constantly have to reassert their
> manliness. (your post for example) Heck, repeat it as often as necessary.
> After a while, I am sure people will be convinced. If not, buy yourself a
> lifted 4X4 truck. Then there will be no mistaking how secure you are.[/color]

Most of these pussy republicans ... sheesh, they wouldn't even get
their asses kicked, they'd be too busy running.

Manliness. Hilarious.

"Dan J.S." <me@hyperx.com> wrote in message
news:11pb1a23vklfv64@news.supernews.com...[color=blue]
>
> "Truckdude" <unrealemail@cox.net> wrote in message
> news:5m7lf.1698$EB3.1436@trnddc09...[color=green]
>>
>> "Dan J.S." <me@hyperx.com> wrote in message
>> news:11p9vfqk24pcoec@news.supernews.com...[color=darkred]
>>>
>>>>
>>>> I guess I will be the one to bust your bubble...hardly anyone will be
>>>> forwarding this because it has been floating around so long that most
>>>> everyone has seen it.
>>>>
>>>
>>> I know. This is just to remind communist liberals why they may enjoy
>>> group hugs.
>>>[/color]
>>
>> Of course it is. As a man who leans to the left politically, I find it
>> amusing how so-called conservatives constantly have to reassert their
>> manliness. (your post for example) Heck, repeat it as often as
>> necessary. After a while, I am sure people will be convinced. If not,
>> buy yourself a lifted 4X4 truck. Then there will be no mistaking how
>> secure you are.
>>[/color]
> Which 4x4 do you recommend? If this will help my security, I am all for
> it. I might have to sell the two Porsches, and the Austin Martin - I was
> going after the wrong cars! AND YOU SHOWED ME THE WAY.
>
> Thank you, hero!
>
> Now, if someone could prescribe me some Viagra, I would definitely see the
> light and lean left myself!
>[/color]

Oh man! You showed me! Bragging about the expensive cars was a nice touch.
Go ahead and swagger all day now! You deserve it! (BTW, the Viagra comment
was probably a bit too much information for us. Good luck with that.)

"Learning Richard" <learningrichard@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:1133878702.812452.46940@g43g2000cwa.googlegroups.com...[color=blue]
>
> Truckdude wrote:[color=green]
>> "Dan J.S." <me@hyperx.com> wrote in message
>> news:11p9vfqk24pcoec@news.supernews.com...[color=darkred]
>> >
>> >>
>> >> I guess I will be the one to bust your bubble...hardly anyone will be
>> >> forwarding this because it has been floating around so long that most
>> >> everyone has seen it.
>> >>
>> >
>> > I know. This is just to remind communist liberals why they may enjoy
>> > group
>> > hugs.
>> >[/color]
>>
>> Of course it is. As a man who leans to the left politically, I find it
>> amusing how so-called conservatives constantly have to reassert their
>> manliness. (your post for example) Heck, repeat it as often as
>> necessary.
>> After a while, I am sure people will be convinced. If not, buy yourself
>> a
>> lifted 4X4 truck. Then there will be no mistaking how secure you are.[/color]
>
> Most of these pussy republicans ... sheesh, they wouldn't even get
> their asses kicked, they'd be too busy running.
>
> Manliness. Hilarious.
>[/color]

You mean run like the liberals want to run from Iraq?

Dan J.S. wrote:[color=blue]
> "Learning Richard" <learningrichard@gmail.com> wrote in message
> news:1133878702.812452.46940@g43g2000cwa.googlegroups.com...[color=green]
> >
> > Truckdude wrote:[color=darkred]
> >> "Dan J.S." <me@hyperx.com> wrote in message
> >> news:11p9vfqk24pcoec@news.supernews.com...
> >> >
> >> >>
> >> >> I guess I will be the one to bust your bubble...hardly anyone will be
> >> >> forwarding this because it has been floating around so long that most
> >> >> everyone has seen it.
> >> >>
> >> >
> >> > I know. This is just to remind communist liberals why they may enjoy
> >> > group
> >> > hugs.
> >> >
> >>
> >> Of course it is. As a man who leans to the left politically, I find it
> >> amusing how so-called conservatives constantly have to reassert their
> >> manliness. (your post for example) Heck, repeat it as often as
> >> necessary.
> >> After a while, I am sure people will be convinced. If not, buy yourself
> >> a
> >> lifted 4X4 truck. Then there will be no mistaking how secure you are.[/color]
> >
> > Most of these pussy republicans ... sheesh, they wouldn't even get
> > their asses kicked, they'd be too busy running.
> >
> > Manliness. Hilarious.
> >[/color]
>
> You mean run like the liberals want to run from Iraq?[/color]

Google this group for 500,000

"Truckdude" <unrealemail@cox.net> wrote in message
news:johlf.7512$Oq3.6196@trnddc05...[color=blue]
>
> "Dan J.S." <me@hyperx.com> wrote in message
> news:11pb1a23vklfv64@news.supernews.com...[color=green]
>>
>> "Truckdude" <unrealemail@cox.net> wrote in message
>> news:5m7lf.1698$EB3.1436@trnddc09...[color=darkred]
>>>
>>> "Dan J.S." <me@hyperx.com> wrote in message
>>> news:11p9vfqk24pcoec@news.supernews.com...
>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> I guess I will be the one to bust your bubble...hardly anyone will be
>>>>> forwarding this because it has been floating around so long that most
>>>>> everyone has seen it.
>>>>>
>>>>
>>>> I know. This is just to remind communist liberals why they may enjoy
>>>> group hugs.
>>>>
>>>
>>> Of course it is. As a man who leans to the left politically, I find it
>>> amusing how so-called conservatives constantly have to reassert their
>>> manliness. (your post for example) Heck, repeat it as often as
>>> necessary. After a while, I am sure people will be convinced. If not,
>>> buy yourself a lifted 4X4 truck. Then there will be no mistaking how
>>> secure you are.
>>>[/color]
>> Which 4x4 do you recommend? If this will help my security, I am all for
>> it. I might have to sell the two Porsches, and the Austin Martin - I was
>> going after the wrong cars! AND YOU SHOWED ME THE WAY.
>>
>> Thank you, hero!
>>
>> Now, if someone could prescribe me some Viagra, I would definitely see
>> the light and lean left myself!
>>[/color]
>
> Oh man! You showed me! Bragging about the expensive cars was a nice
> touch. Go ahead and swagger all day now! You deserve it! (BTW, the
> Viagra comment was probably a bit too much information for us. Good luck
> with that.)
>[/color]

Problem with the bragging is that I really do not own any of those cars
mentioned, and it was a sarcastic comment. This is exactly why we can have
so much fun with the liberals. I drive a Toyota, and I love it!

"Dan J.S." <me@hyperx.com> wrote in message
news:11pb9e2edd40se0@news.supernews.com...[color=blue]
>
> "Truckdude" <unrealemail@cox.net> wrote in message
> news:johlf.7512$Oq3.6196@trnddc05...[color=green]
>>
>> "Dan J.S." <me@hyperx.com> wrote in message
>> news:11pb1a23vklfv64@news.supernews.com...[color=darkred]
>>>
>>> "Truckdude" <unrealemail@cox.net> wrote in message
>>> news:5m7lf.1698$EB3.1436@trnddc09...
>>>>
>>>> "Dan J.S." <me@hyperx.com> wrote in message
>>>> news:11p9vfqk24pcoec@news.supernews.com...
>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> I guess I will be the one to bust your bubble...hardly anyone will be
>>>>>> forwarding this because it has been floating around so long that most
>>>>>> everyone has seen it.
>>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> I know. This is just to remind communist liberals why they may enjoy
>>>>> group hugs.
>>>>>
>>>>
>>>> Of course it is. As a man who leans to the left politically, I find it
>>>> amusing how so-called conservatives constantly have to reassert their
>>>> manliness. (your post for example) Heck, repeat it as often as
>>>> necessary. After a while, I am sure people will be convinced. If not,
>>>> buy yourself a lifted 4X4 truck. Then there will be no mistaking how
>>>> secure you are.
>>>>
>>> Which 4x4 do you recommend? If this will help my security, I am all for
>>> it. I might have to sell the two Porsches, and the Austin Martin - I was
>>> going after the wrong cars! AND YOU SHOWED ME THE WAY.
>>>
>>> Thank you, hero!
>>>
>>> Now, if someone could prescribe me some Viagra, I would definitely see
>>> the light and lean left myself!
>>>[/color]
>>
>> Oh man! You showed me! Bragging about the expensive cars was a nice
>> touch. Go ahead and swagger all day now! You deserve it! (BTW, the
>> Viagra comment was probably a bit too much information for us. Good luck
>> with that.)
>>[/color]
>
> Problem with the bragging is that I really do not own any of those cars
> mentioned, and it was a sarcastic comment. This is exactly why we can have
> so much fun with the liberals. I drive a Toyota, and I love it!
>
>
>[/color]

You mean you were making up shit as you went along?? Not exactly a big
surprise there. Your career awaits at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave.

"Dan J.S." <me@hyperx.com> wrote in message
news:11pbl6jf9fkkhe0@news.supernews.com...[color=blue]
>
> "Truckdude" <unrealemail@cox.net> wrote in message
> news:yoilf.14274$5V1.8480@trnddc02...[color=green]
>>
>> "Dan J.S." <me@hyperx.com> wrote in message
>> news:11pb9e2edd40se0@news.supernews.com...[color=darkred]
>>>
>>> "Truckdude" <unrealemail@cox.net> wrote in message
>>> news:johlf.7512$Oq3.6196@trnddc05...
>>>>
>>>> "Dan J.S." <me@hyperx.com> wrote in message
>>>> news:11pb1a23vklfv64@news.supernews.com...
>>>>>
>>>>> "Truckdude" <unrealemail@cox.net> wrote in message
>>>>> news:5m7lf.1698$EB3.1436@trnddc09...
>>>>>>
>>>>>> "Dan J.S." <me@hyperx.com> wrote in message
>>>>>> news:11p9vfqk24pcoec@news.supernews.com...
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>> I guess I will be the one to bust your bubble...hardly anyone will
>>>>>>>> be forwarding this because it has been floating around so long that
>>>>>>>> most everyone has seen it.
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> I know. This is just to remind communist liberals why they may enjoy
>>>>>>> group hugs.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Of course it is. As a man who leans to the left politically, I find
>>>>>> it amusing how so-called conservatives constantly have to reassert
>>>>>> their manliness. (your post for example) Heck, repeat it as often as
>>>>>> necessary. After a while, I am sure people will be convinced. If
>>>>>> not, buy yourself a lifted 4X4 truck. Then there will be no
>>>>>> mistaking how secure you are.
>>>>>>
>>>>> Which 4x4 do you recommend? If this will help my security, I am all
>>>>> for it. I might have to sell the two Porsches, and the Austin Martin -
>>>>> I was going after the wrong cars! AND YOU SHOWED ME THE WAY.
>>>>>
>>>>> Thank you, hero!
>>>>>
>>>>> Now, if someone could prescribe me some Viagra, I would definitely see
>>>>> the light and lean left myself!
>>>>>
>>>>
>>>> Oh man! You showed me! Bragging about the expensive cars was a nice
>>>> touch. Go ahead and swagger all day now! You deserve it! (BTW, the
>>>> Viagra comment was probably a bit too much information for us. Good
>>>> luck with that.)
>>>>
>>>
>>> Problem with the bragging is that I really do not own any of those cars
>>> mentioned, and it was a sarcastic comment. This is exactly why we can
>>> have so much fun with the liberals. I drive a Toyota, and I love it!
>>>
>>>
>>>[/color]
>>
>> You mean you were making up shit as you went along?? Not exactly a big
>> surprise there. Your career awaits at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave.
>>[/color]
>
> I was being sarcastic. Something you might not understand. I guess this is
> why you are so angry with the current administration. You do not
> understand how even simple things work, how can you comprehend
> international policy?
>[/color]

Other than my first response and this one, did you notice that my posts were
sarcastic also? You may want to rethink who does not understand what.

"Truckdude" <unrealemail@cox.net> wrote in message
news:vumlf.5257$567.2297@trnddc01...[color=blue]
>
> "Dan J.S." <me@hyperx.com> wrote in message
> news:11pbl6jf9fkkhe0@news.supernews.com...[color=green]
>>
>> "Truckdude" <unrealemail@cox.net> wrote in message
>> news:yoilf.14274$5V1.8480@trnddc02...[color=darkred]
>>>
>>> "Dan J.S." <me@hyperx.com> wrote in message
>>> news:11pb9e2edd40se0@news.supernews.com...
>>>>
>>>> "Truckdude" <unrealemail@cox.net> wrote in message
>>>> news:johlf.7512$Oq3.6196@trnddc05...
>>>>>
>>>>> "Dan J.S." <me@hyperx.com> wrote in message
>>>>> news:11pb1a23vklfv64@news.supernews.com...
>>>>>>
>>>>>> "Truckdude" <unrealemail@cox.net> wrote in message
>>>>>> news:5m7lf.1698$EB3.1436@trnddc09...
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> "Dan J.S." <me@hyperx.com> wrote in message
>>>>>>> news:11p9vfqk24pcoec@news.supernews.com...
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>> I guess I will be the one to bust your bubble...hardly anyone will
>>>>>>>>> be forwarding this because it has been floating around so long
>>>>>>>>> that most everyone has seen it.
>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>> I know. This is just to remind communist liberals why they may
>>>>>>>> enjoy group hugs.
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> Of course it is. As a man who leans to the left politically, I find
>>>>>>> it amusing how so-called conservatives constantly have to reassert
>>>>>>> their manliness. (your post for example) Heck, repeat it as often
>>>>>>> as necessary. After a while, I am sure people will be convinced. If
>>>>>>> not, buy yourself a lifted 4X4 truck. Then there will be no
>>>>>>> mistaking how secure you are.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>> Which 4x4 do you recommend? If this will help my security, I am all
>>>>>> for it. I might have to sell the two Porsches, and the Austin
>>>>>> Martin - I was going after the wrong cars! AND YOU SHOWED ME THE WAY.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Thank you, hero!
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Now, if someone could prescribe me some Viagra, I would definitely
>>>>>> see the light and lean left myself!
>>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> Oh man! You showed me! Bragging about the expensive cars was a nice
>>>>> touch. Go ahead and swagger all day now! You deserve it! (BTW, the
>>>>> Viagra comment was probably a bit too much information for us. Good
>>>>> luck with that.)
>>>>>
>>>>
>>>> Problem with the bragging is that I really do not own any of those cars
>>>> mentioned, and it was a sarcastic comment. This is exactly why we can
>>>> have so much fun with the liberals. I drive a Toyota, and I love it!
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>
>>> You mean you were making up shit as you went along?? Not exactly a big
>>> surprise there. Your career awaits at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave.
>>>[/color]
>>
>> I was being sarcastic. Something you might not understand. I guess this
>> is why you are so angry with the current administration. You do not
>> understand how even simple things work, how can you comprehend
>> international policy?
>>[/color]
>
> Other than my first response and this one, did you notice that my posts
> were sarcastic also? You may want to rethink who does not understand
> what.
>[/color]

No, I admit, you really had me going about working at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave.