OT PC The Night Before Christmas

To Clayton Moore
From Standards and Practices

We have read your poem The Night Before Christmas We feel to be acceptable for broadcast the following changes will have to be made.


Twas the Night before Christmas Poem

Not every person celebrates the holiday of Xmas please change this to Holiday

Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,

Since hanging stockings are flammable placing them on the chimney is a fire hazard so should not be encouraged,

In hopes that St Nicholas soon would be there.

The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of sugar-plums danced in their heads.

With recent warnings about childhood obesity and sugar laden foods we feel you should change this line to the following: "While Visions of fresh fruits and vegetables danced in their heads."

And mamma in her ‘kerchief, and I in my cap,

This enforces the patriarchal stereotype of Society and leaves out nontraditional Familes.

Had just settled our brains for a long winter’s nap.
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.

Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below.

When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature sleigh, and eight tinny reindeer.
With a little old driver, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it must be St Nick.

More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!
"Now Dasher! now, Dancer! now, Prancer and Vixen!
On, Comet! On, Cupid! on, on Donner and Blitzen!
To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!
Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!"

Please remember that commanding and shouting at Wildlife is a form of abuse

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky.
So up to the house-top the coursers they flew,
With the sleigh full of Toys, and St Nicholas too.

Forcing Reindeer to pull a heavy sled is bad enough but now you make them fly. Please change

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.
As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
Down the chimney St Nicholas came with a bound.

Forcing someone to use the chimney will cause them to risk server burns.

He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,

The wearing of fur is not permitted.

And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot.
A bundle of Toys he had flung on his back,

Please make sure these toys are safe.

And he looked like a peddler, just opening his pack.

Please change to "Looked like a Salesperson"

His eyes-how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the beard of his chin was as white as the snow.

The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,

Smoking is not permitted to be used.

And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath.

He had a broad face and a little round belly,
That shook when he laughed, like a bowlful of jelly!

This enforces the stereotype of obese persons as being happy people.

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,

Please change to vertically challenged

And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself!
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And filled all the stockings, then turned with a jerk.
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose!

He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, ‘ere he drove out of sight,
"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night!"

Thank you for your time please make these changes and resubmit as soon as possible so that we may have them in time for our Happy RamaHanuKwanzMas Special.

--
Merry Christmas and A Happy New Year!
Nightspirit

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