[OT] little red hen -->joke<--

Once upon a time, on a farm in Texas, there was a little red hen who
scratched about the barnyard until she uncovered quite a few grains of
wheat. She called all of her neighbors together and said, "If we plant
this wheat, we shall have bread to eat. Who will help me plant it?"

"Not I," said the cow.
"Not I," said the duck.
"Not I," said the pig.
"Not I," said the goose.

"Then I will do it by myself," said the little red hen. And so she did.
The wheat grew very tall and ripened into golden grain. "Who will help
me reap my wheat?" asked the little red hen.

"Not I," said the duck.
"Out of my classification," said the pig.
"I'd lose my seniority," said the cow.
"I'd lose my unemployment compensation," said the goose.

"Then I will do it by myself," said the little red hen, and so she did.
At last it came time to bake the bread. "Who will help me bake the
bread" asked the little red hen.

"That would be overtime for me," said the cow.
"I'd lose my welfare benefits," said the duck.
"I'm a dropout & never learned how," said the pig.
"If I'm to be the only helper, that's discrimination," said the goose.

"Then I will do it by myself," said the little red hen. She baked five
loaves and held them up for all of her neighbors to see. They wanted
some and, in fact, demanded a share. But the little red hen said, "No,
I shall eat all five loaves."

"Excess profits!" cried the cow.
"Capitalist leech!" screamed the duck.
"I demand equal rights!" yelled the goose.
The pig just grunted in disdain.

And they all painted "Unfair!" picket signs and marched around and
around the little red hen, shouting obscenities. Then a government
agent came, he said to the little red hen, "You must not be so greedy."

"But I earned the bread," said the little red hen.

"Exactly," said the agent. "That is what makes our free enterprise
system so wonderful. Anyone in the barnyard can earn as much as he
wants. But under our modern government regulations, the productive
workers must divide the fruits of their labor with those who are lazy
and idle,"

And they all lived happily ever after, including the little red hen,
who smiled and clucked, "I am grateful, for now I truly understand,"

But her neighbors became quite disappointed in her. She never again
baked bread because she joined the "party" and got her bread free. And
all the Democrats smiled. 'Fairness' had been established. Individual
initiative had died, but nobody noticed; perhaps no one cared.....as
long as there was free bread that "the rich" were paying for.

Bill Clinton is getting $12 million for his memoirs.

"badgolferman" <REMOVETHISbadgolferman@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:xn0eblj4z4wsi4c001@news.readfreenews.net...[color=blue]
> Once upon a time, on a farm in Texas, there was a little red hen who
> scratched about the barnyard until she uncovered quite a few grains of
> wheat. She called all of her neighbors together and said, "If we plant
> this wheat, we shall have bread to eat. Who will help me plant it?"
>
> "Not I," said the cow.
> "Not I," said the duck.
> "Not I," said the pig.
> "Not I," said the goose.
>
> "Then I will do it by myself," said the little red hen. And so she did.
> The wheat grew very tall and ripened into golden grain. "Who will help
> me reap my wheat?" asked the little red hen.
>
> "Not I," said the duck.
> "Out of my classification," said the pig.
> "I'd lose my seniority," said the cow.
> "I'd lose my unemployment compensation," said the goose.
>
> "Then I will do it by myself," said the little red hen, and so she did.
> At last it came time to bake the bread. "Who will help me bake the
> bread" asked the little red hen.
>
> "That would be overtime for me," said the cow.
> "I'd lose my welfare benefits," said the duck.
> "I'm a dropout & never learned how," said the pig.
> "If I'm to be the only helper, that's discrimination," said the goose.
>
> "Then I will do it by myself," said the little red hen. She baked five
> loaves and held them up for all of her neighbors to see. They wanted
> some and, in fact, demanded a share. But the little red hen said, "No,
> I shall eat all five loaves."
>
> "Excess profits!" cried the cow.
> "Capitalist leech!" screamed the duck.
> "I demand equal rights!" yelled the goose.
> The pig just grunted in disdain.
>
> And they all painted "Unfair!" picket signs and marched around and
> around the little red hen, shouting obscenities. Then a government
> agent came, he said to the little red hen, "You must not be so greedy."
>
> "But I earned the bread," said the little red hen.
>
> "Exactly," said the agent. "That is what makes our free enterprise
> system so wonderful. Anyone in the barnyard can earn as much as he
> wants. But under our modern government regulations, the productive
> workers must divide the fruits of their labor with those who are lazy
> and idle,"
>
> And they all lived happily ever after, including the little red hen,
> who smiled and clucked, "I am grateful, for now I truly understand,"
>
> But her neighbors became quite disappointed in her. She never again
> baked bread because she joined the "party" and got her bread free. And
> all the Democrats smiled. 'Fairness' had been established. Individual
> initiative had died, but nobody noticed; perhaps no one cared.....as
> long as there was free bread that "the rich" were paying for.
>
> Bill Clinton is getting $12 million for his memoirs.[/color]

Bill Clinton should be at Tucker Prison making little rocks out of big ones.
That's the old Prison Farm in Arkansas.

Charles

Charles, 12/30/2005, 7:47:15 AM, <K7ydnVzla42vsSjeRVn-pA@comcast.com>
wrote:
[color=blue]
>
> Bill Clinton should be at Tucker Prison making little rocks out of
> big ones. That's the old Prison Farm in Arkansas.[/color]

Why do you say that? What law did he break that deserves prison time?

--
"The moral rot of political correctness runs deep today in both
national parties." ~ Patrick J. Buchanan

badgolferman wrote:[color=blue]
> Charles, 12/30/2005, 7:47:15 AM, <K7ydnVzla42vsSjeRVn-pA@comcast.com>
> wrote:
>[color=green]
> >
> > Bill Clinton should be at Tucker Prison making little rocks out of
> > big ones. That's the old Prison Farm in Arkansas.[/color]
>
> Why do you say that? What law did he break that deserves prison time?
>[/color]

He outed a secret spy.

NO WAIT.

He led the USA into war under false pretenses.

NO WAIT.

He took office under questionable voting tallies.

NO WAIT.

He went fishing with GHWB all last summer.

THAT'S WHAT IT WAS!

Who is now finding grains of wheat?
Who is baking the bread?
Does it just happen?

The joke had a great start, good middle but missed the ending by a mile

badgolferman, 12/30/2005, 6:57:14 AM,
<xn0eblj4z4wsi4c001@news.readfreenews.net> wrote:
[color=blue]
> Once upon a time, on a farm in Texas, there was a little red hen who
> scratched about the barnyard until she uncovered quite a few grains of
> wheat. She called all of her neighbors together and said, "If we plant
> this wheat, we shall have bread to eat. Who will help me plant it?"
>
> "Not I," said the cow.
> "Not I," said the duck.
> "Not I," said the pig.
> "Not I," said the goose.
>
> "Then I will do it by myself," said the little red hen. And so she
> did. The wheat grew very tall and ripened into golden grain. "Who
> will help me reap my wheat?" asked the little red hen.
>
> "Not I," said the duck.
> "Out of my classification," said the pig.
> "I'd lose my seniority," said the cow.
> "I'd lose my unemployment compensation," said the goose.
>
> "Then I will do it by myself," said the little red hen, and so she
> did. At last it came time to bake the bread. "Who will help me bake
> the bread" asked the little red hen.
>
> "That would be overtime for me," said the cow.
> "I'd lose my welfare benefits," said the duck.
> "I'm a dropout & never learned how," said the pig.
> "If I'm to be the only helper, that's discrimination," said the goose.
>
> "Then I will do it by myself," said the little red hen. She baked five
> loaves and held them up for all of her neighbors to see. They wanted
> some and, in fact, demanded a share. But the little red hen said, "No,
> I shall eat all five loaves."
>
> "Excess profits!" cried the cow.
> "Capitalist leech!" screamed the duck.
> "I demand equal rights!" yelled the goose.
> The pig just grunted in disdain.
>
> And they all painted "Unfair!" picket signs and marched around and
> around the little red hen, shouting obscenities. Then a government
> agent came, he said to the little red hen, "You must not be so
> greedy."
>
> "But I earned the bread," said the little red hen.
>
> "Exactly," said the agent. "That is what makes our free enterprise
> system so wonderful. Anyone in the barnyard can earn as much as he
> wants. But under our modern government regulations, the productive
> workers must divide the fruits of their labor with those who are lazy
> and idle,"
>
> And they all lived happily ever after, including the little red hen,
> who smiled and clucked, "I am grateful, for now I truly understand,"
>
> But her neighbors became quite disappointed in her. She never again
> baked bread because she joined the "party" and got her bread free. And
> all the Democrats smiled. 'Fairness' had been established. Individual
> initiative had died, but nobody noticed; perhaps no one cared.....as
> long as there was free bread that "the rich" were paying for.
>
> Bill Clinton is getting $12 million for his memoirs.[/color]

----------------------------------------------
The remainder of the joke that got cut off.
-----------------------------------------------

Bill Clinton is getting $12 million for his memoirs.
Hillary got $8 million for hers.
That's $20 million for memories from two people, who for eight years,
repeatedly testified, under oath, that they couldn't remember
anything.

IS THIS A GREAT COUNTRY, OR WHAT?

--
"Politics is supposed be the second oldest profession. I have come to
realise that it bears a very close resemblance to the first." ~ Ronald
Reagan.

badgolferman wrote:[color=blue]
> badgolferman, 12/30/2005, 6:57:14 AM,
> <xn0eblj4z4wsi4c001@news.readfreenews.net> wrote:
>[color=green]
> > Once upon a time, on a farm in Texas, there was a little red hen who
> > scratched about the barnyard until she uncovered quite a few grains of
> > wheat. She called all of her neighbors together and said, "If we plant
> > this wheat, we shall have bread to eat. Who will help me plant it?"
> >
> > "Not I," said the cow.
> > "Not I," said the duck.
> > "Not I," said the pig.
> > "Not I," said the goose.
> >
> > "Then I will do it by myself," said the little red hen. And so she
> > did. The wheat grew very tall and ripened into golden grain. "Who
> > will help me reap my wheat?" asked the little red hen.
> >
> > "Not I," said the duck.
> > "Out of my classification," said the pig.
> > "I'd lose my seniority," said the cow.
> > "I'd lose my unemployment compensation," said the goose.
> >
> > "Then I will do it by myself," said the little red hen, and so she
> > did. At last it came time to bake the bread. "Who will help me bake
> > the bread" asked the little red hen.
> >
> > "That would be overtime for me," said the cow.
> > "I'd lose my welfare benefits," said the duck.
> > "I'm a dropout & never learned how," said the pig.
> > "If I'm to be the only helper, that's discrimination," said the goose.
> >
> > "Then I will do it by myself," said the little red hen. She baked five
> > loaves and held them up for all of her neighbors to see. They wanted
> > some and, in fact, demanded a share. But the little red hen said, "No,
> > I shall eat all five loaves."
> >
> > "Excess profits!" cried the cow.
> > "Capitalist leech!" screamed the duck.
> > "I demand equal rights!" yelled the goose.
> > The pig just grunted in disdain.
> >
> > And they all painted "Unfair!" picket signs and marched around and
> > around the little red hen, shouting obscenities. Then a government
> > agent came, he said to the little red hen, "You must not be so
> > greedy."
> >
> > "But I earned the bread," said the little red hen.
> >
> > "Exactly," said the agent. "That is what makes our free enterprise
> > system so wonderful. Anyone in the barnyard can earn as much as he
> > wants. But under our modern government regulations, the productive
> > workers must divide the fruits of their labor with those who are lazy
> > and idle,"
> >
> > And they all lived happily ever after, including the little red hen,
> > who smiled and clucked, "I am grateful, for now I truly understand,"
> >
> > But her neighbors became quite disappointed in her. She never again
> > baked bread because she joined the "party" and got her bread free. And
> > all the Democrats smiled. 'Fairness' had been established. Individual
> > initiative had died, but nobody noticed; perhaps no one cared.....as
> > long as there was free bread that "the rich" were paying for.
> >
> > Bill Clinton is getting $12 million for his memoirs.[/color]
>
> ----------------------------------------------
> The remainder of the joke that got cut off.
> -----------------------------------------------
>
> Bill Clinton is getting $12 million for his memoirs.
> Hillary got $8 million for hers.
> That's $20 million for memories from two people, who for eight years,
> repeatedly testified, under oath, that they couldn't remember
> anything.
>
> IS THIS A GREAT COUNTRY, OR WHAT?
>[/color]

brings to mind that old SNL skit, that dude who used to impersonate
Bill Clinton:

"I...am...bulletproof"

Here's a secret about Democrats.... most mainline Dems hate (but still
love) Bill Clinton because he raised the bar so high that we haven't
been able to reach it since.

Learning Richard, 12/30/2005, 9:17:54 AM,
<1135952274.584646.185090@f14g2000cwb.googlegroups.com> wrote:
[color=blue]
> Here's a secret about Democrats.... most mainline Dems hate (but still
> love) Bill Clinton because he raised the bar so high that we haven't
> been able to reach it since.[/color]

It wasn't too hard to raise the bar compared to the Carter
Administration.

--
"A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the
support of Paul." ~ George Bernard Shaw

On 30 Dec 2005 11:57:14 GMT, "badgolferman"
<REMOVETHISbadgolferman@gmail.com> wrote:
[color=blue]
>Once upon a time, on a farm in Texas, there was a little red hen who
>scratched about the barnyard until she uncovered quite a few grains of
>wheat. She called all of her neighbors together and said, "If we plant
>this wheat, we shall have bread to eat. Who will help me plant it?"
>[/color]
[snip]

Wasn't this one posted VEEEERY recently??

....

noneyabusiness, 12/30/2005,6:31:14 PM, wrote:
[color=blue]
> On 30 Dec 2005 11:57:14 GMT, "badgolferman"
> <REMOVETHISbadgolferman@gmail.com> wrote:
>[color=green]
> > Once upon a time, on a farm in Texas, there was a little red hen who
> > scratched about the barnyard until she uncovered quite a few grains
> > of wheat. She called all of her neighbors together and said, "If we
> > plant this wheat, we shall have bread to eat. Who will help me
> > plant it?"
> >[/color]
> [snip]
>
> Wasn't this one posted VEEEERY recently??
>
> ...[/color]

I search for the daily jokes through Google Groups on this forum every
morning before posting them and didn't see it.

badgolferman wrote:[color=blue]
> Once upon a time, on a farm in Texas, there was a little red hen who
> scratched about the barnyard until she uncovered quite a few grains of
> wheat. She called all of her neighbors together and said, "If we plant
> this wheat, we shall have bread to eat. Who will help me plant it?"
>
> "Not I," said the cow.
> "Not I," said the duck.
> "Not I," said the pig.
> "Not I," said the goose.[/color]
[snip][color=blue]
> But her neighbors became quite disappointed in her. She never again
> baked bread because she joined the "party" and got her bread free. And
> all the Democrats smiled. 'Fairness' had been established. Individual
> initiative had died, but nobody noticed; perhaps no one cared.....as
> long as there was free bread that "the rich" were paying for.[/color]

You forgot the part about there being less bread for everyone, because,
as you said, individual initiative had died.

"badgolferman" <REMOVETHISbadgolferman@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:xn0ebllbl1bcgg8000@news.readfreenews.net...[color=blue]
> Charles, 12/30/2005, 7:47:15 AM, <K7ydnVzla42vsSjeRVn-pA@comcast.com>
> wrote:
>[color=green]
>>
>> Bill Clinton should be at Tucker Prison making little rocks out of
>> big ones. That's the old Prison Farm in Arkansas.[/color]
>
> Why do you say that? What law did he break that deserves prison time?
>
> --
> "The moral rot of political correctness runs deep today in both
> national parties." ~ Patrick J. Buchanan[/color]

Well, to start with, there are a lot of people around him that died under
very mysterious cicrcumstances that were never investigated, or were covered
up. Murder used to be a capital offence. But like the Mafia, witnesses
either refused to testify or 'disappeared'. And supposedly he had nice
little pot parties at the Governor's Mansion, too. That used to be a felony
in Arkansas for everyone but Bill. . . .

Charles of Kankakee

Charles wrote:[color=blue]
> "badgolferman" <REMOVETHISbadgolferman@gmail.com> wrote in message
> news:xn0ebllbl1bcgg8000@news.readfreenews.net...[color=green]
> > Charles, 12/30/2005, 7:47:15 AM, <K7ydnVzla42vsSjeRVn-pA@comcast.com>
> > wrote:
> >[color=darkred]
> >>
> >> Bill Clinton should be at Tucker Prison making little rocks out of
> >> big ones. That's the old Prison Farm in Arkansas.[/color]
> >
> > Why do you say that? What law did he break that deserves prison time?
> >
> > --
> > "The moral rot of political correctness runs deep today in both
> > national parties." ~ Patrick J. Buchanan[/color]
>
> Well, to start with, there are a lot of people around him that died under
> very mysterious cicrcumstances that were never investigated, or were covered
> up. Murder used to be a capital offence. But like the Mafia, witnesses
> either refused to testify or 'disappeared'. And supposedly he had nice
> little pot parties at the Governor's Mansion, too. That used to be a felony
> in Arkansas for everyone but Bill. . . .[/color]

What kind of drugs are you on, you moron?

Charles, 12/30/2005,11:27:34 PM, wrote:
[color=blue]
>
> "badgolferman" <REMOVETHISbadgolferman@gmail.com> wrote in message
> news:xn0ebllbl1bcgg8000@news.readfreenews.net...[color=green]
> > Charles, 12/30/2005, 7:47:15 AM,
> > <K7ydnVzla42vsSjeRVn-pA@comcast.com> wrote:
> >[color=darkred]
> > >
> > > Bill Clinton should be at Tucker Prison making little rocks out of
> > > big ones. That's the old Prison Farm in Arkansas.[/color]
> >
> > Why do you say that? What law did he break that deserves prison
> > time?[/color][/color]
[color=blue]
> Well, to start with, there are a lot of people around him that died
> under very mysterious cicrcumstances that were never investigated, or
> were covered up. Murder used to be a capital offence. But like the
> Mafia, witnesses either refused to testify or 'disappeared'. And
> supposedly he had nice little pot parties at the Governor's Mansion,
> too. That used to be a felony in Arkansas for everyone but Bill. . .[/color]

Yes, I read all those stories also and even the ones about what went on
in the White House. But I guess if you get away with it then it never
happened.

--
"The laws in this city are clearly racist. All laws are racist. The law
of gravity is racist." ~ Marion Barry, Mayor of Washington, DC

"Learning Richard" <learningrichard@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:1136031797.658291.141840@o13g2000cwo.googlegroups.com...[color=blue]
>
> Charles wrote:[color=green]
>> "badgolferman" <REMOVETHISbadgolferman@gmail.com> wrote in message
>> news:xn0ebllbl1bcgg8000@news.readfreenews.net...[color=darkred]
>> > Charles, 12/30/2005, 7:47:15 AM, <K7ydnVzla42vsSjeRVn-pA@comcast.com>
>> > wrote:
>> >
>> >>
>> >> Bill Clinton should be at Tucker Prison making little rocks out of
>> >> big ones. That's the old Prison Farm in Arkansas.
>> >
>> > Why do you say that? What law did he break that deserves prison time?
>> >
>> > --
>> > "The moral rot of political correctness runs deep today in both
>> > national parties." ~ Patrick J. Buchanan[/color]
>>
>> Well, to start with, there are a lot of people around him that died under
>> very mysterious cicrcumstances that were never investigated, or were
>> covered
>> up. Murder used to be a capital offence. But like the Mafia, witnesses
>> either refused to testify or 'disappeared'. And supposedly he had nice
>> little pot parties at the Governor's Mansion, too. That used to be a
>> felony
>> in Arkansas for everyone but Bill. . . .[/color]
>
> What kind of drugs are you on, you moron?
>[/color]

What kind of wierd stuff are you snorting in the air down near Da City? I
heard about the pot parties from several different groups of people while I
lived in Arkansas. I don't actually know anyone that voted for him for
governor.

Charles