{OT} oil -->joke<--

FINALLY SOMEONE EXPLAINED IT SO I CAN UNDERSTAND IT!

There are a lot of folks who can't understand how we came to have an
oil shortage here in America. Well, there's a very simple
answer......Nobody bothered to check the oil.

We just didn't know we were getting low. The reason for that is purely
geographical.

All our oil is in Alaska, Texas, California, and Oklahoma.

All our dipsticks are in Washington, DC.

"badgolferman" <REMOVETHISbadgolferman@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:xn0eie09h17p9mf000@news.readfreenews.net...[color=blue]
> FINALLY SOMEONE EXPLAINED IT SO I CAN UNDERSTAND IT!
>
> There are a lot of folks who can't understand how we came to have an
> oil shortage here in America. Well, there's a very simple
> answer......Nobody bothered to check the oil.
>
> We just didn't know we were getting low. The reason for that is purely
> geographical.
>
> All our oil is in Alaska, Texas, California, and Oklahoma.
>
> All our dipsticks are in Washington, DC.[/color]

AMEN!

Natalie

"badgolferman" <REMOVETHISbadgolferman@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:xn0eie09h17p9mf000@news.readfreenews.net...[color=blue]
> FINALLY SOMEONE EXPLAINED IT SO I CAN UNDERSTAND IT!
>
> There are a lot of folks who can't understand how we came to have an
> oil shortage here in America. Well, there's a very simple
> answer......Nobody bothered to check the oil.
>
> We just didn't know we were getting low. The reason for that is purely
> geographical.
>
> All our oil is in Alaska, Texas, California, and Oklahoma.
>
> All our dipsticks are in Washington, DC.[/color]

One Washington joke begets another:

"President Bush was scheduled to worship at a small Methodist Church

outside Washington, D.C. as part of Karl Rove's campaign to reverse

Bush's rapidly deteriorating approval ratings. A week before the visit,

Rove called on the Methodist Bishop who was scheduled to preach on the

chosen Sunday. "As you know, Bishop," began Rove, "we've been getting a

lot of bad publicity among Methodists because of the president's

position on stem cell research and the like. We'd gladly arrange for

Jack Abramoff's friends to make a contribution of $100,000 to the church

if during your sermon you would say that President Bush is a saint."





The Bishop thought about it for a few minutes, and finally said, "This

parish is in rather desperate need of funds ... I'll agree to do it."





The following Sunday, Bush pompously showed up for the photo op, looking

especially smug even while attempting to appear pious.





After making a few announcements, the Bishop began his homily: "George

W. Bush is a petty, vindictive, sanctimonious hypocrite and a nitwit. He

is a liar, a cheat, and a low-intelligence weasel with the world's

largest chip on his shoulder. He used every dirty election trick in the

book and still lost, but his toadies in the Supreme Court appointed him.

He lied about his military record in which he used special privilege to

avoid combat, and then had the gall to dress up and pose on an aircraft

carrier before a banner stating "Mission Accomplished." He invaded a

sovereign country for oil and war profiteering, turning Iraq into a

training ground for terrorists who would destroy our country. He

continues to confuse the American people by insisting on a nonexistent

connection between the horrors of 9/11 and the reason he started his war

in Iraq. He routinely appoints incompetent and unqualified cronies to

high-level federal government positions and as a result, hundreds and

hundreds of Americans died tragically in New Orleans. He lets corporate

polluters despoil God's creation and doom our planet. He uses

fear-mongering to justify warrantless spying on American citizens, in

clear violation of our Constitution. He is so psychotic and

megalomaniacal that he believes that he was chosen by God. He is the

worst example of a Methodist I have ever personally known. But compared

to Dick Cheney and Karl Rove and the rest of the evil fascist bastards

in this administration, George W. Bush is a saint."

Source: unknown, passed on to me from a republican friend

"tak" <takirch@frontiernet.net> wrote in message
news:seLHf.14439$qg.7691@news01.roc.ny...[color=blue]
>
> "badgolferman" <REMOVETHISbadgolferman@gmail.com> wrote in message
> news:xn0eie09h17p9mf000@news.readfreenews.net...[color=green]
>> FINALLY SOMEONE EXPLAINED IT SO I CAN UNDERSTAND IT!
>>
>> There are a lot of folks who can't understand how we came to have an
>> oil shortage here in America. Well, there's a very simple
>> answer......Nobody bothered to check the oil.
>>
>> We just didn't know we were getting low. The reason for that is purely
>> geographical.
>>
>> All our oil is in Alaska, Texas, California, and Oklahoma.
>>
>> All our dipsticks are in Washington, DC.[/color]
>
> One Washington joke begets another:
>
> "President Bush was scheduled to worship at a small Methodist Church
>
> outside Washington, D.C. as part of Karl Rove's campaign to reverse
>
> Bush's rapidly deteriorating approval ratings. A week before the visit,
>
> Rove called on the Methodist Bishop who was scheduled to preach on the
>
> chosen Sunday. "As you know, Bishop," began Rove, "we've been getting a
>
> lot of bad publicity among Methodists because of the president's
>
> position on stem cell research and the like. We'd gladly arrange for
>
> Jack Abramoff's friends to make a contribution of $100,000 to the church
>
> if during your sermon you would say that President Bush is a saint."
>
>
>
>
>
> The Bishop thought about it for a few minutes, and finally said, "This
>
> parish is in rather desperate need of funds ... I'll agree to do it."
>
>
>
>
>
> The following Sunday, Bush pompously showed up for the photo op, looking
>
> especially smug even while attempting to appear pious.
>
>
>
>
>
> After making a few announcements, the Bishop began his homily: "George
>
> W. Bush is a petty, vindictive, sanctimonious hypocrite and a nitwit. He
>
> is a liar, a cheat, and a low-intelligence weasel with the world's
>
> largest chip on his shoulder. He used every dirty election trick in the
>
> book and still lost, but his toadies in the Supreme Court appointed him.
>
> He lied about his military record in which he used special privilege to
>
> avoid combat, and then had the gall to dress up and pose on an aircraft
>
> carrier before a banner stating "Mission Accomplished." He invaded a
>
> sovereign country for oil and war profiteering, turning Iraq into a
>
> training ground for terrorists who would destroy our country. He
>
> continues to confuse the American people by insisting on a nonexistent
>
> connection between the horrors of 9/11 and the reason he started his war
>
> in Iraq. He routinely appoints incompetent and unqualified cronies to
>
> high-level federal government positions and as a result, hundreds and
>
> hundreds of Americans died tragically in New Orleans. He lets corporate
>
> polluters despoil God's creation and doom our planet. He uses
>
> fear-mongering to justify warrantless spying on American citizens, in
>
> clear violation of our Constitution. He is so psychotic and
>
> megalomaniacal that he believes that he was chosen by God. He is the
>
> worst example of a Methodist I have ever personally known. But compared
>
> to Dick Cheney and Karl Rove and the rest of the evil fascist bastards
>
> in this administration, George W. Bush is a saint."
>
> Source: unknown, passed on to me from a republican friend
>
>
>
>
>[/color]

I beg to differ. We have dipsticks in just about every capital. We've got
a dipstick named Blagojavech here in Illinois, along with Senators Dick
(Duck Plucker) Durbin and Obama Yo Mamma. And we're neither on the Left
Coast nor the Least Coast.

Charles of Schaumburg.