{OT} road rage -->joke<--

CONGRESS SANCTIONS "LETHAL FORCE" IN ROAD RAGE CASES

The US Congress cleared the way for states to approve motorists' use of
"lethal force" in dealing with idiot drivers.

Irate driver Ray Owens of Columbus, Ohio, heralded the action by
Congress. "This is truly a great day in our country. I predict a
kindler, gentler, and far more productive country as soon as I blow
away that asshole who's in the right turn only lane with left turn
signal on."

Actions that are now covered by the lethal force sanction include:

** Stopping for a yellow light.

** Driving at speeds under the posted speed limit.

** Blocking traffic in the right turn lane by deciding to "go
through the light." (Notice, this offense punishable by lethal force
if there was a middle lane an offender could have gone in.)

** Simultaneous application of make-up and cell phone usage.
(Statisticians expect the female population of the United States to go
down drastically upon passage.)

** Car radios in excess of 80 decibels. If the radio is turned so
loud as to cause thumping headaches in other vehicles, Congress has
generously waived the constitutional ban on "Cruel and Unusual"
punishment. Punishment administering drivers are encouraged to "be
creative."

Congress has delayed legislation to send all teenager drivers to the
land-mined roads of Bosnia for a mandatory 18 month training period.
Representative Pryce (R-Ohio) said, "The land-mines will insure our
teenagers quickly pick up the theory of 'slow and easy'. Also, loud
noises can set off mines, so they'll learn how to listen to the radio
at much lower volumes. We think it's a win-win for everyone. The
United States gets better drivers and Bosnia gets much needed
pizza-delivery people."