LOL! It's great to be a man!

IT'S GREAT TO BE A MAN

It's Great to be a Man!

Your last name stays put.

The garage is all yours.

Wedding plans take care of themselves.

Car mechanics tell you the truth.

You don't give a rat's ass if someone notices your new
haircut.

The world is your urinal.

Hot wax never comes near your private areas.

You never have to drive to another gas station because
this one's just too icky.

Your ass is never a factor in a job interview.

Wrinkles add character.

You don't have to leave the room to make emergency
crotch adjustments.

Wedding Dress $2000; Tux rental $100.

If you retain water, it's in a canteen.

People never glance at your chest when you're talking to
them.

The occasional well-rendered belch is practically
expected.

New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with, "Notice
anything different?"

One mood, ALL the damn time.

And don't forget......

Phone Conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.

You can open all your own jars.

You can go to a public toilet without a support group.

You can kill your own food.

You get extra credit for the slightest act of
thoughtfulness.

If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or
she can still be your friend.

Your underwear is $10 for a three-pack.

If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.

Everything on your face stays its original color.

You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's
seat.

Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours
without everthinking, "He must be mad at me."

You don't mooch off others' desserts.

You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring
a little gift.

If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit,
you just might become lifelong friends.

You are not expected to know the names of more than
five colors.

You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a
nut on a bolt.

You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.

The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.

You don't have to shave below your neck.

Your belly usually hides your big hips.

One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all
seasons.

You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife.

You have freedom of choice concerning growing a
mustache.

Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives
in 45 minutes.

Hachiroku <Trueno@ae86.GTS> wrote:
[color=blue]
>IT'S GREAT TO BE A MAN
>
>It's Great to be a Man!
>
>Your last name stays put.
>
>The garage is all yours.
>[/color]
Great one Hachi!...like it a lot...

--

-Gord.
(use gordon in email)

"Hachiroku" <Trueno@ae86.GTS> wrote in message
news:Fpx5g.2422$Fp5.1143@trndny09...[color=blue]
> IT'S GREAT TO BE A MAN
>[/color]

Your wife can speak to your doctor in confidence about you without you first
signing a consent form. If you tried doing the same with her doctor you may
as well be some stranger just off the street.
If your wife accidentally overdraws the checking account it's you they come
after for an explanation.
Some things really don't make sense. We're supposed to be the hunters, yet
it's our wives that have to scoop the dead bird up from the back doorstep
and bury it. We can cause the enemy's guts to splatter all over the place,
but it's our wives who have to clean up the microwave after we explode an
egg in it.

mark_

"mark_digital©" <xxx976@comcast.com> wrote in message
news:POudnXrrmZzDpsrZnZ2dnUVZ_s-dnZ2d@comcast.com...[color=blue]
>
> "Hachiroku" <Trueno@ae86.GTS> wrote in message
> news:Fpx5g.2422$Fp5.1143@trndny09...[color=green]
>> IT'S GREAT TO BE A MAN
>>[/color]
>
> Your wife can speak to your doctor in confidence about you without you
> first signing a consent form. If you tried doing the same with her doctor
> you may as well be some stranger just off the street.[/color]

Wrong and WRONG. Anybody (Even a friend) can TELL a doctor about your
problems, but the doctor cannot respond in any way. All he can say is
'thanks for the information', unless you sign a form. Trust me, it's a
lawsuit if you give out any info without the patient's permission,
regardless of gender.
[color=blue]
> If your wife accidentally overdraws the checking account it's you they
> come after for an explanation.[/color]

Are you the primary on the account? Then yes, they will.
[color=blue]
> Some things really don't make sense. We're supposed to be the hunters,
> yet it's our wives that have to scoop the dead bird up from the back
> doorstep and bury it. We can cause the enemy's guts to splatter all over
> the place, but it's our wives who have to clean up the microwave after we
> explode an egg in it.
>
> mark_[/color]
OK, now you're just being silly

:-)

Natalie

"Wickeddoll®" <wickeddoll1958DIEspammersDIE@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:e389sh.2a0.1@news.evilcabal.org...[color=blue][color=green]
>> Some things really don't make sense. We're supposed to be the hunters,
>> yet it's our wives that have to scoop the dead bird up from the back
>> doorstep and bury it. We can cause the enemy's guts to splatter all over
>> the place, but it's our wives who have to clean up the microwave after we
>> explode an egg in it.
>>
>> mark_[/color]
> OK, now you're just being silly
>
> :-)
>
> Natalie
>[/color]

Silly? Most plumbers are men yet more women change baby's diapers than men
do.
mark_

"mark_digital©" <xxx976@comcast.com> wrote in message
news:eOidnSGiW7-ZHMXZnZ2dnUVZ_s-dnZ2d@comcast.com...[color=blue]
>
> "Wickeddoll®" <wickeddoll1958DIEspammersDIE@yahoo.com> wrote in message
> news:e389sh.2a0.1@news.evilcabal.org...[color=green][color=darkred]
>>> Some things really don't make sense. We're supposed to be the hunters,
>>> yet it's our wives that have to scoop the dead bird up from the back
>>> doorstep and bury it. We can cause the enemy's guts to splatter all
>>> over the place, but it's our wives who have to clean up the microwave
>>> after we explode an egg in it.
>>>
>>> mark_[/color]
>> OK, now you're just being silly
>>
>> :-)
>>
>> Natalie
>>[/color]
>
> Silly? Most plumbers are men yet more women change baby's diapers than
> men do.
> mark_[/color]
It's a topsy-turvy world...

Natalie

"Wickeddoll®" <wickeddoll1958DIEspammersDIE@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:e39ng6.3ls.1@news.evilcabal.org...[color=blue]
>
> "mark_digital©" <xxx976@comcast.com> wrote in message
> news:eOidnSGiW7-ZHMXZnZ2dnUVZ_s-dnZ2d@comcast.com...[color=green]
>>
>> "Wickeddoll®" <wickeddoll1958DIEspammersDIE@yahoo.com> wrote in message
>> news:e389sh.2a0.1@news.evilcabal.org...[color=darkred]
>>>> Some things really don't make sense. We're supposed to be the hunters,
>>>> yet it's our wives that have to scoop the dead bird up from the back
>>>> doorstep and bury it. We can cause the enemy's guts to splatter all
>>>> over the place, but it's our wives who have to clean up the microwave
>>>> after we explode an egg in it.
>>>>
>>>> mark_
>>> OK, now you're just being silly
>>>
>>> :-)
>>>
>>> Natalie
>>>[/color]
>>
>> Silly? Most plumbers are men yet more women change baby's diapers than
>> men do.
>> mark_[/color]
> It's a topsy-turvy world...
>
> Natalie
>[/color]

I got to change a lot of diapers from 1970 to about 1979. Mom said it would
be good training for when I'm married. So it's all gone to waste. . . . .

Charles of Schamuburg

"n5hsr" <n5hsr@comcast.net> wrote in message
news:yv-dnTnZkP3J-cTZRVn-uw@comcast.com...[color=blue]
> "Wickeddoll®" <wickeddoll1958DIEspammersDIE@yahoo.com> wrote in message
> news:e39ng6.3ls.1@news.evilcabal.org...[color=green]
>>
>> "mark_digital©" <xxx976@comcast.com> wrote in message
>> news:eOidnSGiW7-ZHMXZnZ2dnUVZ_s-dnZ2d@comcast.com...[color=darkred]
>>>
>>> "Wickeddoll®" <wickeddoll1958DIEspammersDIE@yahoo.com> wrote in message
>>> news:e389sh.2a0.1@news.evilcabal.org...
>>>>> Some things really don't make sense. We're supposed to be the
>>>>> hunters, yet it's our wives that have to scoop the dead bird up from
>>>>> the back doorstep and bury it. We can cause the enemy's guts to
>>>>> splatter all over the place, but it's our wives who have to clean up
>>>>> the microwave after we explode an egg in it.
>>>>>
>>>>> mark_
>>>> OK, now you're just being silly
>>>>
>>>> :-)
>>>>
>>>> Natalie
>>>>
>>>
>>> Silly? Most plumbers are men yet more women change baby's diapers than
>>> men do.
>>> mark_[/color]
>> It's a topsy-turvy world...
>>
>> Natalie
>>[/color]
>
> I got to change a lot of diapers from 1970 to about 1979. Mom said it
> would be good training for when I'm married. So it's all gone to waste.
> . . . .
>
> Charles of Schamuburg
>[/color]
Waste? bwahahaha!

OK, I saw a poo joke there.

Natalie

"Wickeddoll®" <wickeddoll1958DIEspammersDIE@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:e3bck1.3j8.1@news.evilcabal.org...[color=blue]
>
> "n5hsr" <n5hsr@comcast.net> wrote in message
> news:yv-dnTnZkP3J-cTZRVn-uw@comcast.com...[color=green]
>> "Wickeddoll®" <wickeddoll1958DIEspammersDIE@yahoo.com> wrote in message
>> news:e39ng6.3ls.1@news.evilcabal.org...[color=darkred]
>>>
>>> "mark_digital©" <xxx976@comcast.com> wrote in message
>>> news:eOidnSGiW7-ZHMXZnZ2dnUVZ_s-dnZ2d@comcast.com...
>>>>
>>>> "Wickeddoll®" <wickeddoll1958DIEspammersDIE@yahoo.com> wrote in message
>>>> news:e389sh.2a0.1@news.evilcabal.org...
>>>>>> Some things really don't make sense. We're supposed to be the
>>>>>> hunters, yet it's our wives that have to scoop the dead bird up from
>>>>>> the back doorstep and bury it. We can cause the enemy's guts to
>>>>>> splatter all over the place, but it's our wives who have to clean up
>>>>>> the microwave after we explode an egg in it.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> mark_
>>>>> OK, now you're just being silly
>>>>>
>>>>> :-)
>>>>>
>>>>> Natalie
>>>>>
>>>>
>>>> Silly? Most plumbers are men yet more women change baby's diapers than
>>>> men do.
>>>> mark_
>>> It's a topsy-turvy world...
>>>
>>> Natalie
>>>[/color]
>>
>> I got to change a lot of diapers from 1970 to about 1979. Mom said it
>> would be good training for when I'm married. So it's all gone to waste.
>> . . . .
>>
>> Charles of Schamuburg
>>[/color]
> Waste? bwahahaha!
>
> OK, I saw a poo joke there.
>
> Natalie
>[/color]

Although I am going to be an uncle in about 7-8 months. Guess I can use my
training then.

Charles of Schaumburg.

"n5hsr" <n5hsr@comcast.net> wrote in message
news:boOdnaaN0K_-XsTZRVn-gQ@comcast.com...[color=blue]
>
> Although I am going to be an uncle in about 7-8 months. Guess I can use
> my training then.
>
> Charles of Schaumburg.
>[/color]

Start saving those plastic grocery bags. And get the word out that just
because the diapers are disposable doesn't mean they get tossed in the
bathroom or kitchen pail with or without being in those plastic bags.

mark_

"Wickeddoll®" <wickeddoll1958DIEspammersDIE@yahoo.com> wrote:
[color=blue]
>
>"n5hsr" <n5hsr@comcast.net> wrote in message
>news:yv-dnTnZkP3J-cTZRVn-uw@comcast.com...[color=green]
>> "Wickeddoll®" <wickeddoll1958DIEspammersDIE@yahoo.com> wrote in message
>> news:e39ng6.3ls.1@news.evilcabal.org...[color=darkred]
>>>
>>> "mark_digital©" <xxx976@comcast.com> wrote in message
>>> news:eOidnSGiW7-ZHMXZnZ2dnUVZ_s-dnZ2d@comcast.com...
>>>>
>>>> "Wickeddoll®" <wickeddoll1958DIEspammersDIE@yahoo.com> wrote in message
>>>> news:e389sh.2a0.1@news.evilcabal.org...
>>>>>> Some things really don't make sense. We're supposed to be the
>>>>>> hunters, yet it's our wives that have to scoop the dead bird up from
>>>>>> the back doorstep and bury it. We can cause the enemy's guts to
>>>>>> splatter all over the place, but it's our wives who have to clean up
>>>>>> the microwave after we explode an egg in it.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> mark_
>>>>> OK, now you're just being silly
>>>>>
>>>>> :-)
>>>>>
>>>>> Natalie
>>>>>
>>>>
>>>> Silly? Most plumbers are men yet more women change baby's diapers than
>>>> men do.
>>>> mark_
>>> It's a topsy-turvy world...
>>>
>>> Natalie
>>>[/color]
>>
>> I got to change a lot of diapers from 1970 to about 1979. Mom said it
>> would be good training for when I'm married. So it's all gone to waste.
>> . . . .
>>
>> Charles of Schamuburg
>>[/color]
>Waste? bwahahaha!
>
>OK, I saw a poo joke there.
>
>Natalie
>[/color]
You're pretty quick girl, I didn't see it till you posted... :)
--

-Gord.
(use gordon in email)

"mark_digital©" <xxx976@comcast.com> wrote in message
news:uYqdnXlHhaPzmMfZnZ2dnUVZ_sidnZ2d@comcast.com...[color=blue]
>
> "n5hsr" <n5hsr@comcast.net> wrote in message
> news:boOdnaaN0K_-XsTZRVn-gQ@comcast.com...[color=green]
>>
>> Although I am going to be an uncle in about 7-8 months. Guess I can use
>> my training then.
>>
>> Charles of Schaumburg.
>>[/color]
>
> Start saving those plastic grocery bags. And get the word out that just
> because the diapers are disposable doesn't mean they get tossed in the
> bathroom or kitchen pail with or without being in those plastic bags.
>
> mark_[/color]

That reminds me of this patient who used to always wait till she came to
our office to change her kids' shitty diapers. One day I gave her a diaper
as I took her back; she goes, "Why did you give me that?" I told her I
just assumed she'd need to change her baby, as usual. She never did it
again. LOL

Natalie

"Gord Beaman"...[color=blue]
> "Wickeddoll®" wrote:
>[color=green]
>>
>>"n5hsr" ...[color=darkred]
>>> "Wickeddoll®"...
>>>>
>>>> "mark_digital©" ...
>>>>>
>>>>> "Wickeddoll®" ...
>>>>>>> Some things really don't make sense. We're supposed to be the
>>>>>>> hunters, yet it's our wives that have to scoop the dead bird up
>>>>>>> from
>>>>>>> the back doorstep and bury it. We can cause the enemy's guts to
>>>>>>> splatter all over the place, but it's our wives who have to clean
>>>>>>> up
>>>>>>> the microwave after we explode an egg in it.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> mark_
>>>>>> OK, now you're just being silly
>>>>>>
>>>>>> :-)
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Natalie
>>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> Silly? Most plumbers are men yet more women change baby's diapers
>>>>> than
>>>>> men do.
>>>>> mark_
>>>> It's a topsy-turvy world...
>>>>
>>>> Natalie
>>>>
>>>
>>> I got to change a lot of diapers from 1970 to about 1979. Mom said it
>>> would be good training for when I'm married. So it's all gone to
>>> waste.
>>> . . . .
>>>
>>> Charles of Schamuburg
>>>[/color]
>>Waste? bwahahaha!
>>
>>OK, I saw a poo joke there.
>>
>>Natalie
>>[/color]
> You're pretty quick girl, I didn't see it till you posted... :)
> --
>
> -Gord.[/color]

Word geeks unite!

Natalie

n5hsr wrote:
[color=blue]
>"Wickeddoll®" wrote:[color=green]
>>
>> Waste? bwahahaha!
>>
>> OK, I saw a poo joke there.[/color]
>
>Although I am going to be an uncle in about 7-8 months. Guess I can use my
>training then.[/color]

Your skill with your Depends® will help you with the Huggies®?

"Wickeddoll®" <wickeddoll1958DIEspammersDIE@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:e3dg58.2as.1@news.evilcabal.org...[color=blue]
>[color=green]
>>[/color]
> That reminds me of this patient who used to always wait till she came to
> our office to change her kids' shitty diapers. One day I gave her a
> diaper as I took her back; she goes, "Why did you give me that?" I told
> her I just assumed she'd need to change her baby, as usual. She never did
> it again. LOL
>
> Natalie[/color]

Reminds me of the highly educated proud new parents who brought home their
newborn baby and carefully studied the labels on all packages before
purchasing anything.

Two days after they brought the baby home, proud papa was walking by the
nursery and noticed a terrible smell. Concerned, he called proud mama to
the nursery to ask her about the terrible smell.

Proud mama didn't know what was causing the smell either so they called the
pediatrician. Since the pediatrician was a smart doctor, she wouldn't give
a diagnosis over the phone so she told proud mama and proud papa to bring
the newborn in to the doctor's office.

Once at the doctor's office, Dr. Pediatrician removed the baby's diaper,
pointed to the load in the diaper and said, "There's the problem! - the
baby's diaper hasn't been changed in two days!"

Highly educated proud papa and highly educated proud mama simultaneously
corrected Dr. Pediatrician and told her "No, that cannot be the cause. The
diaper package specified 'newborn to 10 pounds'!"
--

Ray O
(correct punctuation to reply)