{OT} Application to become an Illegal Immigrant

It Has Sarbanes coded in it, but you can change it to Kennedy, Pelosi, ect
to suit the sate you live in:


Dear Senator Sarbanes,

As a native Marylander and excellent customer of the Internal Revenue
Service, I am writing to ask for your assistance. I have contacted the
Department of Homeland Security in an effort to determine the process for
becoming an illegal alien and they referred me to you.

My primary reason for wishing to change my status from U.S. Citizen to
illegal alien stem from the bill which was recently passed by the Senate and
for which you voted. If my understanding of this bill's provisions is
accurate, as an illegal alien who has been in the United States for five
years, all I need to do to become a citizen is to pay a $2,000 fine and
income taxes for three of the last five years. I know a good deal when I see
one and I am anxious to get the process started before everyone figures it
out.

Simply put, those of us who have been here legally have had to pay taxes
every year -- so I'm excited about the prospect of avoiding two years of
taxes in return for paying a $2,000 fine. Is there any way that I can apply
to be illegal retroactively? This would yield an excellent result for me and
my family because we paid heavy taxes in 2004 and 2005.

Additionally, as an illegal alien I could begin using the local emergency
room as my primary health care provider. Once I have stopped paying premiums
for medical insurance, my accountant figures I could save almost $10,000 a
year. Another benefit in gaining illegal status would be that my daughter
would receive preferential treatment relative to her law school
applications, as well as "in-state" tuition rates for many colleges
throughout the United States for my son.

Lastly, I understand that illegal status would relieve me of the burden of
renewing my driver's license and making those burdensome car insurance
premiums. This is very important to me given that I still have college age
children driving my car.

If you would provide me with an outline of the process to become illegal
(retroactively if possible) and copies of the necessary forms, I would be
most appreciative. Thank you for your assistance.

Your Loyal Constituent,

Send it to GW.


"Hachiroku" <Trueno@ae86.GTS> wrote in message
news:uKaQg.3033$I.2248@trndny05...[color=blue]
> It Has Sarbanes coded in it, but you can change it to Kennedy, Pelosi, ect
> to suit the sate you live in:
>
>
> Dear Senator Sarbanes,
>
> As a native Marylander and excellent customer of the Internal Revenue
> Service, I am writing to ask for your assistance. I have contacted the
> Department of Homeland Security in an effort to determine the process for
> becoming an illegal alien and they referred me to you.
>
> My primary reason for wishing to change my status from U.S. Citizen to
> illegal alien stem from the bill which was recently passed by the Senate
> and for which you voted. If my understanding of this bill's provisions is
> accurate, as an illegal alien who has been in the United States for five
> years, all I need to do to become a citizen is to pay a $2,000 fine and
> income taxes for three of the last five years. I know a good deal when I
> see one and I am anxious to get the process started before everyone
> figures it out.
>
> Simply put, those of us who have been here legally have had to pay taxes
> every year -- so I'm excited about the prospect of avoiding two years of
> taxes in return for paying a $2,000 fine. Is there any way that I can
> apply to be illegal retroactively? This would yield an excellent result
> for me and my family because we paid heavy taxes in 2004 and 2005.
>
> Additionally, as an illegal alien I could begin using the local emergency
> room as my primary health care provider. Once I have stopped paying
> premiums for medical insurance, my accountant figures I could save almost
> $10,000 a year. Another benefit in gaining illegal status would be that my
> daughter would receive preferential treatment relative to her law school
> applications, as well as "in-state" tuition rates for many colleges
> throughout the United States for my son.
>
> Lastly, I understand that illegal status would relieve me of the burden of
> renewing my driver's license and making those burdensome car insurance
> premiums. This is very important to me given that I still have college age
> children driving my car.
>
> If you would provide me with an outline of the process to become illegal
> (retroactively if possible) and copies of the necessary forms, I would be
> most appreciative. Thank you for your assistance.
>
> Your Loyal Constituent,
>[/color]

"Hachiroku" <Trueno@ae86.GTS> wrote in message
news:uKaQg.3033$I.2248@trndny05...[color=blue]
> It Has Sarbanes coded in it, but you can change it to Kennedy, Pelosi, ect
> to suit the sate you live in:
>
>
> Dear Senator Sarbanes,
>
> As a native Marylander and excellent customer of the Internal Revenue
> Service, I am writing to ask for your assistance. I have contacted the
> Department of Homeland Security in an effort to determine the process for
> becoming an illegal alien and they referred me to you.
>
> My primary reason for wishing to change my status from U.S. Citizen to
> illegal alien stem from the bill which was recently passed by the Senate
> and for which you voted. If my understanding of this bill's provisions is
> accurate, as an illegal alien who has been in the United States for five
> years, all I need to do to become a citizen is to pay a $2,000 fine and
> income taxes for three of the last five years. I know a good deal when I
> see one and I am anxious to get the process started before everyone
> figures it out.
>
> Simply put, those of us who have been here legally have had to pay taxes
> every year -- so I'm excited about the prospect of avoiding two years of
> taxes in return for paying a $2,000 fine. Is there any way that I can
> apply to be illegal retroactively? This would yield an excellent result
> for me and my family because we paid heavy taxes in 2004 and 2005.
>
> Additionally, as an illegal alien I could begin using the local emergency
> room as my primary health care provider. Once I have stopped paying
> premiums for medical insurance, my accountant figures I could save almost
> $10,000 a year. Another benefit in gaining illegal status would be that my
> daughter would receive preferential treatment relative to her law school
> applications, as well as "in-state" tuition rates for many colleges
> throughout the United States for my son.
>
> Lastly, I understand that illegal status would relieve me of the burden of
> renewing my driver's license and making those burdensome car insurance
> premiums. This is very important to me given that I still have college age
> children driving my car.
>
> If you would provide me with an outline of the process to become illegal
> (retroactively if possible) and copies of the necessary forms, I would be
> most appreciative. Thank you for your assistance.
>
> Your Loyal Constituent,
>[/color]

If I became an 'illegal immegrant', I'd have about 30 ancestors and various
deceased relatives rise up out of the grave and disown me. . . . Probably
more.

Charles of Schaumburg