OT------History lesson; Political

History Lesson

Division of the human family into two distinct political groups began some
12,000 years ago. Humans existed as members of small bands of nomadic
hunter/gatherers. They lived on deer in the mountains in the summer and
would go to the beach and live on fish and lobster in winter.

The two most important events in all of history were the invention of beer
and the invention of the wheel. The wheel was invented to get man to the
beer.

These two events were the foundation of modern civilization and together
were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two distinct subgroups:
Liberals and Conservatives.

Once beer was discovered it required grain and that was the beginning of
Agriculture, neither the glass bottle, nor the aluminum can were invented
yet, so while our early human ancestors were sitting around waiting for them
to be invented, they just stayed close to the brewery. That's how villages
were formed.

Some men split their days tracking and killing animals to barbecue at
night while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is
known as" the Conservative movement." Other men who were weaker and less
skilled at hunting learned to live off the Conservatives by showing up for
the nightly barbecue and doing the sewing, fetching and hairdressing. This
was the beginning of the Liberal movement.

Some of these Liberal men eventually evolved into women. The rest became
known as "girlymen." Some noteworthy Liberal achievements include the
domestication of cats, the trade union, the invention of group therapy and
group hugs, and the concept of Democratic voting to decide how to divide the
meat and beer that Conservatives provided.

Over the years Conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, most
powerful land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals are symbolized by the
jackass.

Modern Liberals like imported beer (with lime added), but most prefer
white wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like their beef
well done. Sushi, tofu and French food are standard liberal fare.

Another interesting revolutionary side note: most of their women have
higher testosterone levels than their men. Most social workers, personal
injury attorneys, journalists, dreamers in Hollywood and group therapists
are Liberals. Liberals invented the designated hitter rule in baseball
because it wasn't "fair" to make the pitcher also bat.

Conservatives drink domestic beer and eat red meat and potatoes.
Conservatives are big-game hunters, rodeo cowboys, lumberjacks, construction
workers, medical doctors, police officers, corporate executives, soldiers,
athletes and generally anyone who works productively outside government.

Conservatives who own companies hire other Conservatives who want to work
for a living. Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to "govern"
the producers and decide what to do with production.

Liberals believe Europeans are more enlightened than Americans. That is
why most of the Liberals remained in Europe when Conservatives were coming
to America. They crept in after the Wild West was tame and created a
business of trying to get more for nothing.

And here ends today's lesson in world history

Capt. Tundra wrote:[color=blue]
> History Lesson[/color]
<snip radical right quack thinking>

Typical right wing dip-shit.

Capt. Tundra, 8/12/2005, 2:10:25 PM, <XB5Le.417$ct5.297@fed1read04>
wrote:
[color=blue]
> History Lesson
>
> Division of the human family into two distinct political groups
> began some 12,000 years ago. Humans existed as members of small
> bands of nomadic hunter/gatherers. They lived on deer in the
> mountains in the summer and would go to the beach and live on fish
> and lobster in winter.
>
> The two most important events in all of history were the invention
> of beer and the invention of the wheel. The wheel was invented to
> get man to the beer.
>
> These two events were the foundation of modern civilization and
> together were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two
> distinct subgroups: Liberals and Conservatives.
>
> Once beer was discovered it required grain and that was the
> beginning of Agriculture, neither the glass bottle, nor the aluminum
> can were invented yet, so while our early human ancestors were
> sitting around waiting for them to be invented, they just stayed
> close to the brewery. That's how villages were formed.
>
> Some men split their days tracking and killing animals to barbecue at
> night while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what
> is known as" the Conservative movement." Other men who were weaker
> and less skilled at hunting learned to live off the Conservatives by
> showing up for the nightly barbecue and doing the sewing, fetching
> and hairdressing. This was the beginning of the Liberal movement.
>
> Some of these Liberal men eventually evolved into women. The rest
> became known as "girlymen." Some noteworthy Liberal achievements
> include the domestication of cats, the trade union, the invention of
> group therapy and group hugs, and the concept of Democratic voting to
> decide how to divide the meat and beer that Conservatives provided.
>
> Over the years Conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest,
> most powerful land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals are
> symbolized by the jackass.
>
> Modern Liberals like imported beer (with lime added), but most prefer
> white wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like
> their beef well done. Sushi, tofu and French food are standard
> liberal fare.
>
> Another interesting revolutionary side note: most of their women have
> higher testosterone levels than their men. Most social workers,
> personal injury attorneys, journalists, dreamers in Hollywood and
> group therapists are Liberals. Liberals invented the designated
> hitter rule in baseball because it wasn't "fair" to make the pitcher
> also bat.
>
> Conservatives drink domestic beer and eat red meat and potatoes.
> Conservatives are big-game hunters, rodeo cowboys, lumberjacks,
> construction workers, medical doctors, police officers, corporate
> executives, soldiers, athletes and generally anyone who works
> productively outside government.
>
> Conservatives who own companies hire other Conservatives who want to
> work for a living. Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to
> "govern" the producers and decide what to do with production.
>
> Liberals believe Europeans are more enlightened than Americans.
> That is why most of the Liberals remained in Europe when
> Conservatives were coming to America. They crept in after the Wild
> West was tame and created a business of trying to get more for
> nothing.
>
> And here ends today's lesson in world history[/color]

This lesson ought to be in our Political Science textbooks.

--
No matter what happens someone will find a way to take it too seriously.

Josh wrote:[color=blue]
> Capt. Tundra wrote:[color=green]
> > History Lesson[/color]
> <snip radical right quack thinking>
>
> Typical right wing dip-shit.[/color]

Seems like that post was a poorly written attempt at hate satire -- but
wait, our complaining friend badgolferman wants it added to the
curriculum....

badgolferman wrote:[color=blue]
> Capt. Tundra, 8/12/2005, 2:10:25 PM, <XB5Le.417$ct5.297@fed1read04>
> wrote:
>[color=green]
>> History Lesson
>>
>> Division of the human family into two distinct political groups
>> began some 12,000 years ago. Humans existed as members of small
>> bands of nomadic hunter/gatherers. They lived on deer in the
>> mountains in the summer and would go to the beach and live on fish
>> and lobster in winter.
>>
>> The two most important events in all of history were the invention
>> of beer and the invention of the wheel. The wheel was invented to
>> get man to the beer.
>>
>> These two events were the foundation of modern civilization and
>> together were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two
>> distinct subgroups: Liberals and Conservatives.
>>
>> Once beer was discovered it required grain and that was the
>> beginning of Agriculture, neither the glass bottle, nor the aluminum
>> can were invented yet, so while our early human ancestors were
>> sitting around waiting for them to be invented, they just stayed
>> close to the brewery. That's how villages were formed.
>>
>> Some men split their days tracking and killing animals to barbecue
>> at night while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of
>> what is known as" the Conservative movement." Other men who were
>> weaker and less skilled at hunting learned to live off the
>> Conservatives by showing up for the nightly barbecue and doing the
>> sewing, fetching and hairdressing. This was the beginning of the
>> Liberal movement.
>>
>> Some of these Liberal men eventually evolved into women. The rest
>> became known as "girlymen." Some noteworthy Liberal achievements
>> include the domestication of cats, the trade union, the invention of
>> group therapy and group hugs, and the concept of Democratic voting to
>> decide how to divide the meat and beer that Conservatives provided.
>>
>> Over the years Conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest,
>> most powerful land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals are
>> symbolized by the jackass.
>>
>> Modern Liberals like imported beer (with lime added), but most
>> prefer white wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but
>> like their beef well done. Sushi, tofu and French food are standard
>> liberal fare.
>>
>> Another interesting revolutionary side note: most of their women
>> have higher testosterone levels than their men. Most social workers,
>> personal injury attorneys, journalists, dreamers in Hollywood and
>> group therapists are Liberals. Liberals invented the designated
>> hitter rule in baseball because it wasn't "fair" to make the pitcher
>> also bat.
>>
>> Conservatives drink domestic beer and eat red meat and potatoes.
>> Conservatives are big-game hunters, rodeo cowboys, lumberjacks,
>> construction workers, medical doctors, police officers, corporate
>> executives, soldiers, athletes and generally anyone who works
>> productively outside government.
>>
>> Conservatives who own companies hire other Conservatives who want to
>> work for a living. Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to
>> "govern" the producers and decide what to do with production.
>>
>> Liberals believe Europeans are more enlightened than Americans.
>> That is why most of the Liberals remained in Europe when
>> Conservatives were coming to America. They crept in after the Wild
>> West was tame and created a business of trying to get more for
>> nothing.
>>
>> And here ends today's lesson in world history[/color]
>
> This lesson ought to be in our Political Science textbooks.[/color]

And it shall be noted in the history of Google that badgolfermans head is
entirely up his own ass.

Josh, 8/12/2005, <ntKdnTNNc6ZpmGDfUSdV9g@ptd.net>,4:26:53 PM, wrote:
[color=blue]
> And it shall be noted in the history of Google that badgolfermans
> head is entirely up his own ass.[/color]

I see you are just like the rest of your liberal friends. Why must you
reply with a personal attack or profanity? Can you not use some of
your infamous wit to besmirch me?

--
"The golf swing is like sex. You can't be thinking about the mechanics
of the act while you are performing."
Dave Hill

Learning Richard, 8/12/2005,
<1123873267.168645.312820@g47g2000cwa.googlegroups.com>,3:01:07 PM,
wrote:
[color=blue]
>
> Josh wrote:[color=green]
> > Capt. Tundra wrote:[color=darkred]
> > > History Lesson[/color]
> > <snip radical right quack thinking>
> >
> > Typical right wing dip-shit.[/color]
>
> Seems like that post was a poorly written attempt at hate satire --
> but wait, our complaining friend badgolferman wants it added to the
> curriculum....[/color]

I have stopped complaining of the OT posts anymore, or haven't you
noticed? I figured if you can't beat them then join them.

As for the curriculum, satire is best answered with satire.

--
"Golf is like an 18-year-old girl with big boobs. You know it's wrong
but you can't keep away from her."
Val Doonican

On 13 Aug 2005 14:16:21 GMT, "badgolferman"
<REMOVETHISbadgolferman@gmail.com> wrote:
[color=blue]
>Learning Richard, 8/12/2005,
><1123873267.168645.312820@g47g2000cwa.googlegroups.com>,3:01:07 PM,
>wrote:
>[color=green]
>>
>> Josh wrote:[color=darkred]
>> > Capt. Tundra wrote:
>> > > History Lesson
>> > <snip radical right quack thinking>
>> >
>> > Typical right wing dip-shit.[/color]
>>
>> Seems like that post was a poorly written attempt at hate satire --
>> but wait, our complaining friend badgolferman wants it added to the
>> curriculum....[/color]
>
>I have stopped complaining of the OT posts anymore, or haven't you
>noticed? I figured if you can't beat them then join them.
>
>As for the curriculum, satire is best answered with satire.[/color]

Welcome to the OT world. You do contribute some very readable
opinions (even if some are wrong <g>).

--

Scott in Florida

On 13 Aug 2005 14:16:21 GMT, "badgolferman"
<REMOVETHISbadgolferman@gmail.com> wrote:
[color=blue]
>"Golf is like an 18-year-old girl with big boobs. You know it's wrong
>but you can't keep away from her."
>Val Doonican[/color]

How about a 16 year old when you are 16?

--

Scott in Florida

Scott in Florida, 8/13/2005,
<al2sf19coan0ao8v6be0lc5fl24bhnv9p8@4ax.com>,10:59:51 AM, wrote:
[color=blue]
> Welcome to the OT world. You do contribute some very readable
> opinions (even if some are wrong <g>).[/color]

With all the bickering and opinions flying around this group, I wonder
if even one person has actually changed their mind about a political
subject.

--
"Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men.
Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps.:
Tiger Woods

Not likely, but it does force some of us to reflect and post our
thoughts in complete sentences as to why we believe the way we do and
why the morals and motivations of the other side are suspect.

People like Richard and Josh simply resort to juvenile, asinine and
profane name calling, which should tell anyone something about the
underpinnings of their positions.

On 13 Aug 2005 16:00:56 GMT, "badgolferman"
<REMOVETHISbadgolferman@gmail.com> wrote:
[color=blue]
>Scott in Florida, 8/13/2005,
><al2sf19coan0ao8v6be0lc5fl24bhnv9p8@4ax.com>,10:59:51 AM, wrote:
>[color=green]
>> Welcome to the OT world. You do contribute some very readable
>> opinions (even if some are wrong <g>).[/color]
>
>With all the bickering and opinions flying around this group, I wonder
>if even one person has actually changed their mind about a political
>subject.[/color]

Of course not....just like 'real life'....but it is fun...

--

Scott in Florida

badgolferman wrote:[color=blue]
> Josh, 8/12/2005, <ntKdnTNNc6ZpmGDfUSdV9g@ptd.net>,4:26:53 PM, wrote:
>[color=green]
>> And it shall be noted in the history of Google that badgolfermans
>> head is entirely up his own ass.[/color]
>
> I see you are just like the rest of your liberal friends. Why must
> you reply with a personal attack or profanity? Can you not use some
> of your infamous wit to besmirch me?[/color]

The whole original message was an attack on liberals, which you think should
be in Political Scients textbooks...need I say more?

Josh, 8/14/2005, <B5qdnclsYcJfDGLfUSdV9g@ptd.net>,2:47:33 PM, wrote:
[color=blue]
> badgolferman wrote:[color=green]
> > Josh, 8/12/2005, <ntKdnTNNc6ZpmGDfUSdV9g@ptd.net>,4:26:53 PM, wrote:
> >[color=darkred]
> >> And it shall be noted in the history of Google that badgolfermans
> >> head is entirely up his own ass.[/color]
> >
> > I see you are just like the rest of your liberal friends. Why must
> > you reply with a personal attack or profanity? Can you not use some
> > of your infamous wit to besmirch me?[/color]
>
> The whole original message was an attack on liberals, which you think
> should be in Political Scients textbooks...need I say more?[/color]

It was a humorous parody which invoked stereotypical descriptions of
both liberals and conservatives. You found it necessary to react with
a personal attack upon me. I didn't realize I had so much power over
your emotions that you had visions of my ass in your head. Lighten up,
fella.

--
"The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf course."
Billy Graham

badgolferman wrote:[color=blue]
> Josh, 8/14/2005, <B5qdnclsYcJfDGLfUSdV9g@ptd.net>,2:47:33 PM, wrote:
>[color=green]
>> badgolferman wrote:[color=darkred]
>>> Josh, 8/12/2005, <ntKdnTNNc6ZpmGDfUSdV9g@ptd.net>,4:26:53 PM, wrote:
>>>
>>>> And it shall be noted in the history of Google that badgolfermans
>>>> head is entirely up his own ass.
>>>
>>> I see you are just like the rest of your liberal friends. Why must
>>> you reply with a personal attack or profanity? Can you not use some
>>> of your infamous wit to besmirch me?[/color]
>>
>> The whole original message was an attack on liberals, which you think
>> should be in Political Scients textbooks...need I say more?[/color]
>
> It was a humorous parody which invoked stereotypical descriptions of
> both liberals and conservatives.[/color]

Stereotypical of conservatives? There's nothing Stereotypical about that,
keep dreaming.
[color=blue]
>You found it necessary to react with
> a personal attack upon me.[/color]

Next time don't say something so stupid as to thinking something as
ridiculous as that belongs in Political Science Text Books, and if you do
try using the {sarcasm brackets}