Please obtain the knowledge and training to overcome this fear. I'm a female, and I've been able to deal with radiator caps since I was a teenager. My dad taught me. You can do this!
I'd worry more about NOT KNOWING whether the radiator was full. You can't assume the radiator is full just by looking at the overflow tank.
It can cost megabucks to get a blown head gasket fixed. And you can point directly at a low-coolant problem to find the reason for a blown head gasket.
Also, get some leather work gloves to keep in the car. They can help you overcome some of your reluctance to touch dirty or hot parts, if that's part of the problem.
Another thing you might try is to stop at an auto parts store, raise your car's hood, and see if a customer (or employee) will stop and ask what the problem is. They will probably demonstrate the technique for you. Have your gloves handy. You could also get some antifreeze and an antifreeze tester while you're there.
Oh, by the way, the reason the radiator cap comes off in 2 stages is to prevent scalding you. If the car is hot and you want to check the level of coolant in the radiator, get out your leather work gloves or a towel or jacket to protect your hand and loosen the cap to its first stage. If it's boiling over or steaming, be extra cautious. But if you loosen it to the first stage and nothing comes out, then you should be able to safely remove the cap completely. Then check or add coolant.
You need to be aware of your car's coolant level. If you smell antifreeze after driving somewhere (or while driving), then you are losing coolant somewhere. If your coolant mysteriously disappears leaving no puddles under the car, you probably have a pinhole leak in an old hose somewhere on the engine. They can be hard to find. They tend to leak the most when the engine is racing, such as on the highway. I know one case where the leak was found AT NIGHT by parking the car, raising the hood, and racing the engine. The beam of a flashlight helped reveal the small spray coming out of the pinhole leak in a hose. Not even the dealer's mechanics found that leak until the owner found it at night.
Find out how to keep track of your coolant level. If you are losing coolant, get the problem fixed. If you don't, your car could die an early and expensive death.