ANY car can tow short of a Smart Car.
There are more than a few people with tow hitches installed who tow with the xB on Scion Life. 1000 pounds or less should be no problem. The car itself as a cargo capacity of almost 1000 lbs, which is huge for a car like that.
The xB can barely move itself? 0-60 is 9.0 seconds with the 5 speed manual.
Check Edmunds.com road test, that is their official number. The automatic is what is usually tested. Those are closer to 10.5 seconds.
Either way, 9.0 seconds is not bad at all. It's about average actually, about the same as any other car in its class and better than many SUV's.
WTF do you want for $14,000?
It's a ridiculous and unfair exaggeration to say it can barely move itself. Nothing else for the price is much faster and mine does just fine on hills, even with a full load of passengers and the air conditioning on.