Spark plugs: Denso or NGK
Denso: SK16R11 ( 3324 ) good for 120K miles or IK16TT good for 100K miles.
NGK: IFR5211 good for 120K miles
Fuel Filter: You don't normally need to mess with the "fuel filter" (it's in the tank and is more of a "sock" screen) unless the car has sat disabled for a few years. I have 375K miles any have never messed with it.
Air filter: Toyota or Denso three stage engine air filter:
Cabin air filter:
Transmission filter gasket kit: I've had no issues with Wix. The trans filter screen only needs to be replaced every once in a while. Every 100K miles (or even longer) is fine as long as the fluid is changed regularly.
Transmission fluid: Any Toyota T-IV spec'd fluid. Valvoline MaxLife synthetic ATF is very popular on this forum. I flushed with that (low pressure flush) and it resolved a problem I had with the transmission not fully engaging in reverse for a number of seconds. Some say that Toyota WS spec'd fluid is backwards compatible to T-IV spec'd transmissions (not the other way around, though). Don't use a high-pressure flush. Just use the transmission's own pump to flush the fluid.
Brake cleaner: WalMart brake cleaner is the cheapest I've seen. It works fine and it really doesn't matter. Any brake cleaner will work.
Radiator coolant: Use a P-HOAT (Phosphated Hybrid Organic Acid Technology) coolant. The brand doesn't matter. Cheapest I've seen is at Pep Boys. If you use concentrate, mix only with distilled or deionized water.
Oil filter: This is a very controversial subject and can lead to endless and tiresome arguments about what filter is "better/best". Just use a "good" filter and have frequent changes and you'll be fine. I like the Royal Purple 20-400 filter (oversized), but it doesn't matter that much. Some others: Wix 51516, Mobil 1 M1-103A, Amsoil Ea034, Fram ULTRA XG3600 (all of these are oversized).
Oil: Even worse of an endless argument and controversy than filters. Just use a reputable brand. If it's non-synthetic just change it very frequently. There are people who have used cheap WalMart Super Tech conventional oil and have gone 400K miles or more with no problems (with regular oil/filter changes). I use Amsoil Sig Series 5w/30, but most reputable brands are perfectly fine and it's nothing to argue or worry about. Pennzoil Ultra Patinum 5w/30 has a great quality/price ratio in the 5 quart jug ordered from WalMart.
Motor oil drain plug gasket/washer: Toyota: 90430-12031 (try to get the blue gasket, not the black one)
It's oriented a certain way: