Hey solkid, first off what is the year and make of your car? Mine is a 93 Paseo. I'm not that up on Toyotas, just trial and error. Now as I said before, there is a black box under the hood on the drivers side. ( Your hood stand clips on top of this box. ) Theres a row of relays in this box as well as some fuses. Yours maybe located in a different place if its a different model or year.
Second, I just read another post that said theres two fuses for your highs and lows. ( 4 total )
Seems a little extreme to me.

I dont know where the other two fuses are and I'm not sure if thier listed in the owners manual. When you find the relay, if you have someone who can turn the lights on and off you can hear whether or not the relay is working. It will click.
Let me know how its going.