I was hoping to avoid getting it from them because I’m sure I’ll pay dearly.You need to go through your local Toyota dealer. They might have to order it for you because from what I know Toyota releases updates once a year and dealers don't stock this kind of stuff.
I like Apple CarPlay quite a bit, any suggestions as to a decent unit?Buy an aftermarket unit with Carplay/Android Auto
There are plenty of aftermarket head units with all the bells and whistles but you need to make sure that you have everything you need to integrate it into your car. Some of these units require additional car specific installation kits. If you have JBL audio replacement of the head unit will be much more involved, if this is "vanilla" Avalon stereo with 8 speakers it is much easier, you can check for your options on Crutchfield.com .I like Apple CarPlay quite a bit, any suggestions as to a decent unit?