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The Difference between Men and Women
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Men are Lunatics, Women are Nuts

Women have more imagination than men. They need it to tell men how
wonderful they are.

Women have their faults. Men have only two. Everything they say.
Everything they do.

Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow
deteriorate during the night.

When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade
another country. It's a whole different way of thinking.

A man is a person who will pay two dollars for a one-dollar item he
wants. A woman will pay one dollar for a two-dollar item that she
doesn't want.

When a man gives his opinion, he's a man. When a woman gives her
opinions, she's a bitch.

Women are the only exploited group in history who have been idealized
into powerlessness.

Most men's primary fantasy is still, unfortunately, access to a number
of beautiful women. For a man, commitment means giving up this
fantasy. Most women's primary fantasy is a relationship with one man.
For a woman, commitment to a man means achieving this fantasy. So
commitment often means that a woman achieves her fantasy, while a man
gives his up.

It's not true that men prefer foolish women. Rather they prefer women
who can simulate foolishness whenever necessary, which is the very core
of intelligence.

Men always want to be a woman's first love. Women have a more subtle
instinct: What they like is to be a man's last romance.

The only way to understand a woman is to love her -- and then it isn't
necessary to understand her.

To women, love is an occupation. To men, a preoccupation.

To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a
little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to
understand her at all.

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man
marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does.

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never
worries about the future until he gets a wife.

A woman will always cherish the memory of the man who wanted to marry
her; a man, of the woman who he didn't.

There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman - Before
marriage and after marriage.

Only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy. One is to let
her think she is having her own way, and the other is to let her have
it.

Married men live longer than single men, But married men are a lot more
willing to die.

Any married man should forget his mistakes -- no use two people
remembering the same thing.

Some husbands are living proof that a woman can take a joke.

A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after
that is the beginning of a new argument.

If you women knew what we were thinking, you'd never stop slapping us.

Women have two weapons -- cosmetics and tears.

Women may be the only group that grows more radical with age.

God made man before woman to give him time to think of an answer for
her first.
 
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