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The Owners Manual (here) has a section near the end that discusses customization of various features. Some changes can be made through the multi-information display in the dash, the multimedia screen, or the dealer can do it by plugging in their diagnostic laptop (Techstream, if you've seen that name around here).

So yes, the car can be customized so that you can open the windows and/or moonroof from the key fob. (The same control - press and hold unlock button - is used for both windows and roof, so if you enable both, both will open.) That one is one of the changes that the dealer has to do.
 

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At the dealer they mentioned that they can program the FOb to open the windows and start the car. Does anyone who the details of this and how to program it?
To reprogram some items you need an OBD2 connector like this:


Mine works fine, and there are a number of them on the market at a range of prices. Keep in mind that the connector company, like Carista, may say you can reprogram all kinds of settings, but you really can only change the ones Toyota allows the dealer to change. For instance, I changed my momentary turn signal from 3 flashes to 5. Set the windows to open remotely if the unlock fob button is held for 2 seconds. You can't disable the stop/start feature, or keep the speed control from resetting when you shut off the engine. Or do much of anything else, for that matter. But the OBDS can run some diagnostics.
 

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I asked my dealer to program it for me and free.
So did I, and I got some resistance, him saying it would take some time and he was busy. So I just spent the money and got the dongle and paid the yearly fee. I can try the customizations and change them if it turns out I don't like what I did. My nearest dealer is 30 minutes away, so it's worth it to me. YMMV.
 

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So did I, and I got some resistance, him saying it would take some time and he was busy. So I just spent the money and got the dongle and paid the yearly fee. I can try the customizations and change them if it turns out I don't like what I did. My nearest dealer is 30 minutes away, so it's worth it to me. YMMV.
Besides doing my own Highlanders - previous 2017 and current 2020 - I've programmed friends' Highlanders and even a Tacoma using Carista.
 

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So did I, and I got some resistance, him saying it would take some time and he was busy. So I just spent the money and got the dongle and paid the yearly fee. I can try the customizations and change them if it turns out I don't like what I did. My nearest dealer is 30 minutes away, so it's worth it to me. YMMV.
Some dealers suck after you bought the car.
 

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Each dealer has their own policies about customizations and cost. The tech's time isn't free.

Some dealers will let you make customizations once for free and then charge the minimum (1/2 hour or even 1 hour) after that. Many will do it for free if you're there for another reason anyway (oil change, other service, whatever). To just walk in and ask for the customization, I wouldn't be surprised to be charged for it, but anything more than 1/2 an hour is robbery. You could also try working through the sales department - in some places, if sales wants it, it's a "customer courtesy" thing.
 
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