Correct, it can't be turned off permanently, even with Techstream. The EPA rating is probably based on the assumption that start/stop is active.
It's already a new habit to press the disable button every time I get in the car. Sometimes I'll forget and it reminds when it puts a message on the display about why it's not shutting off the car while I'm sitting at a light. The salesperson told me that it's a little less likely to shut the car off than the 3rd Gen, as there are a number of conditions that need to be met before it decides to shut off the engine.
Yes, how hard you press the brake is one of the conditions. I've seen the message "press the brake harder to activate start/stop" while sitting at a light.
And it's true that you don't notice it. Before getting in the habit of turning it off, it was turning off on me sometimes. Honestly, unless you are staring at the tach in the HUD or watch the messages in the center of the info display in front of the driver, you don't realize it shut off. There's also nearly zero delay in starting back up when you let off the brake and press the gas pedal.